I have heard it called maintenance, I have heard it called guarding, and I have heard it called protecting. While all of these are good words, they just don’t seem to have a strong enough feel for what I have experienced the past year. I like to look at it as pure defiance. I DEFY myself or anyone else from messing with my 70+ pound weight loss!!!! On December 29, 2014 I recorded a 70 pound weight loss. Since then, I have DEFIED myself or anyone else from messing with that loss.
You may wonder why I say myself or anyone else. While I need to battle myself frequently, it is almost easier for me to take care of myself, as it is, for me to silence the “anyone else.” I have worked hard, struggled, cried, enjoyed, been frustrated, been encouraged, and basically all emotions in between in losing my 70+ pounds. Now I am hearing from, I’m sure with good intentions, folks that want to say, “Go ahead and eat that piece of cheesecake. You’ve earned that right.” "You deserve it." Or “You can have that Nacho Mountain off the menu, look how good you’ve done for so long. One cheat won’t hurt.” Or, my favorite, “You can’t stay on a diet for the rest of your life.”
What??????? Seriously?????? I’m not on a diet. I refuse to call it a diet. I have never called it a diet. It is a wellness plan, and I have retrained my body, mind, and soul that it is a wellness plan. It is what I do to stay healthy!!!!!!!! It is what I do to feel good!!!!!! It is what I do to maintain my physical activity capabilities!!!! And, yes, I can and will do this for the rest of my life. My answer to all the “you deserves” is, I do deserve! I do deserve! I do deserve!! I deserve to stay the course, eat healthy, exercise, and enjoy the rest of my life in a healthy manner. That is what I deserve. NOT A PIECE OF CHEESECAKE!!!!!
Here is what “I defy myself or anyone else from messing with my 70+ weight loss” looks like …
April 7, 2014 Weight 199.5
December 29, 2014 Weight 129.5
December 30, 2014 thru December 29, 2015 …
Physical Activity Calories: 154,225
Veggies Eaten: 1626
Fruits Eaten: 1071.5
Lean Proteins Eaten: 495.5
Whole Grains Eaten: 256.75
HMR Shakes: 275.5
HMR Entrees: 151
That is my “box”. My “box” daily is 7 to 12 fruits and vegetables, 2 lean proteins, one whole grain. Add physical activity calories to that, and yes, my nemesis … water!
Over the past year, I have struggled with what I want that magical number to look like on the scale. Even though I feel wonderful, my clothes fit perfectly, and I’m 2 sizes smaller than I was in high school, I still covet a certain number on the scale. I have been blessed to not only maintain and guard my 70 pound weight loss, but I have added a few more pounds to it over the past year. Depending on whether the scale is being a brat or not, I have now lost between 75 and 77 pounds. That elusive 80 is hanging there. I may never get there … it doesn’t matter!
Did I wake up on December 30, 2014 and say, “I’m going to do 154,225 Physical Activity calories for a year to maintain this weight loss?” Or did I say, “I’m going to have to eat 1626 vegetables to maintain my weight loss”? Did I say, “I’m eating 3 fruits today, only 1068.5 left to go!” Of course I didn’t. What I did was get up each and every day, eat THAT DAY, what I knew was healthy for me, and exercise THAT DAY, what I knew was a good workout to keep my body moving. When I looked back at the numbers at the end of the year, the totals spoke for themselves. It is my wellness plan. It is my new healthy life … and I absolutely defy myself or anyone else from messing with my 70+ weight loss!
The other numbers that reflect this wellness plan are what I deserve:
BMI Before: 43.17
BMI Now: 27.16
Glucose Before: 120
Glucose Now: 97
AlC Before: 6.2
AlC Now: 5.2
Blood pressure medicine cut in half.
Cholesterol medicine cut by three-quarters.
Walked/Ran TWO HALF MARATHONS!!!
Walked multiple 5K, 10K, and 10 mile races.
Fitbit lifetime steps (since starting my wellness program) 4, 995, 080. That is FOUR MILLION, NINE HUNDRED, NINETY FIVE THOUSAND, 80 STEPS!!!!!!! My Fitbit is blowing up!!!!!
My goal for 2016 is to run, not walk a 10K. I bet I get it!!!!
I have been blessed to have many along the way as support, encouragement, and even shoulders to cry on. My mentor, coach, personal trainer, and friend, Brandon Howard, has, I believe, truly saved my life. God truly put me in the right place, at the right time, with the right people. It’s time for me to honor that grace extended to me, and I try to pay it forward at every opportunity!
So, I DEFY myself or anyone else from messing with my 70+ weight loss! Everyone is right … I most certainly do DESERVE it!!! But, I know what I DESERVE and in what manner, and it is that which I will defy myself or anyone else to mess with!!!
Tuesday, December 29, 2015
Tuesday, December 22, 2015
We Celebrate Him!
As Christmas draws nearer and is only a few days away, I think it serves us well to stop and reflect how we celebrate His birth every day!!!
In the sunrise, in the sunset we celebrate Him!
When we hear the birds, feel the breeze, smell the scent of a field of wild flowers, we celebrate Him!
When we count each individual star, admire a butterfly, walk in the snow, we celebrate Him!
When we see the expanse of an ocean, the peaks of snow covered mountains, and a brook trickling through a valley, we celebrate Him!
In the birth of a new baby, or the passing of an elder, we celebrate Him!
When we trudge through a busy day, or laugh when we are at play, we celebrate Him!
Through tears and through laughter, we celebrate Him!
When we break bread with friends and family, we celebrate Him!
When we comfort a loved one, tend the sick, feed the poor, we celebrate Him!
When we recognize and embrace each individual, as made in His image and likeness, we celebrate Him!
When we lock arms and stand strong in our faith, we celebrate Him!
When we join our prayers to others, we celebrate Him!
When we live every day to our fullest capacity, in His name, we celebrate Him!
When we simply love, we celebrate Him!
When I celebrate each of you, I celebrate Him!
As Christmas draws nearer and is only a few days away, I think it serves us well to stop and reflect how we celebrate His birth every day!!!
In the sunrise, in the sunset we celebrate Him!
When we hear the birds, feel the breeze, smell the scent of a field of wild flowers, we celebrate Him!
When we count each individual star, admire a butterfly, walk in the snow, we celebrate Him!
When we see the expanse of an ocean, the peaks of snow covered mountains, and a brook trickling through a valley, we celebrate Him!
In the birth of a new baby, or the passing of an elder, we celebrate Him!
When we trudge through a busy day, or laugh when we are at play, we celebrate Him!
Through tears and through laughter, we celebrate Him!
When we break bread with friends and family, we celebrate Him!
When we comfort a loved one, tend the sick, feed the poor, we celebrate Him!
When we recognize and embrace each individual, as made in His image and likeness, we celebrate Him!
When we lock arms and stand strong in our faith, we celebrate Him!
When we join our prayers to others, we celebrate Him!
When we live every day to our fullest capacity, in His name, we celebrate Him!
When we simply love, we celebrate Him!
When I celebrate each of you, I celebrate Him!
Wednesday, November 25, 2015
Conflictions ...
She has changed
In the months and the passings,
She has changed
Her heart fills slowly, as if snow accumulating in a flowerless, empty window box.
Colorful hues replaced with a soft shroud of white.
She has changed
Confidence has edged its muscle into her once timid space.
Fear rears its ugly head like shining eyes in a night sky. Visiting when least expected, and for a time strangling like binding twine.
She has changed
Days are long but vitalizing,
The evenings short and wreaking of trepidation.
Tick tock of the passing hours.
Happiness swings to confusion like the pendulum of the clock. Tick tock.
She has changed
Her strength soars as if on eagle’s wings, and her weakness of body, mind, and soul abounds.
She has changed
Fullness of life and energy with a sky lit with sunshine and puffed clouds.
Loneliness takes her to her knees.
Her vulnerability she wears as a badge,
Longing a part of her soul.
Her heart fills slowly, as if snow accumulating in a flowerless, empty window box. A heart full of change.
She has changed
Different but the same.
In the months and the passings,
She has changed
Her heart fills slowly, as if snow accumulating in a flowerless, empty window box.
Colorful hues replaced with a soft shroud of white.
She has changed
Confidence has edged its muscle into her once timid space.
Fear rears its ugly head like shining eyes in a night sky. Visiting when least expected, and for a time strangling like binding twine.
She has changed
Days are long but vitalizing,
The evenings short and wreaking of trepidation.
Tick tock of the passing hours.
Happiness swings to confusion like the pendulum of the clock. Tick tock.
She has changed
Her strength soars as if on eagle’s wings, and her weakness of body, mind, and soul abounds.
She has changed
Fullness of life and energy with a sky lit with sunshine and puffed clouds.
Loneliness takes her to her knees.
Her vulnerability she wears as a badge,
Longing a part of her soul.
Her heart fills slowly, as if snow accumulating in a flowerless, empty window box. A heart full of change.
She has changed
Different but the same.
Friday, September 25, 2015
Sit-Up's and Burpees and Sandbags ... Oh My!!!!
The title of this post may sound a little bit like a line from the Wizard of Oz. That is not by accident. But, as I tell this story, you will understand how I would rather face the Wicked Witch of the West and the Flying Monkeys, than to think about repeating this particular workout in the future. But something, just something tells me that I will face it again and will ACCOMPLISH it again!!
Our normal training group bounced into the gym on our normal workout on a Wednesday with Brandon. I’m always the one that either, before we get there, or while we are warming up asks, “What are we doing tonight?” My answer this particular night was, “sandbags.” Hmmmm… Sandbags … sounds interesting. But then we all see his little sly smile, and the rubbing of the palms together, and the chuckle going up the stairs to our workout area. Oh my!!!
We proceed into our room we often get to use for our workouts. The overhead fans are on, the exercise music is playing, and we see our floor mats and SANDBAGS ready and placed for us. We have never seen the sandbags before. Just a little sand-filled long tubular bag, with a handle on it similar to a gym bag handle. A sandbag! Brandon then begins to demonstrate that we are going to hold these sandbags, end to end initially. We are going to do sumo squats first, and when we come to standing position out of the sumo squat, we are going to press the sandbag over our heads. Kind of like an arm press with weight. Well allrighty then! Sounds pretty simple. And remember, his famous saying, “you can do anything for 30 seconds.” So we start out with our sandbag, squat, press, squat, press, squat press … 30 seconds!! After about 15 seconds, that sandbag was beginning to get on my nerves. He tells us to “rest.” We’ve heard this word many times before, and it always sounds like a gift from heaven when it is heard … just sayin’. So four rounds of the squats and overhead presses with the sandbags. Yes, the arms, quads, and bootie are burning a bit.
Not to be outdone by the sumo squats and presses, Brandon then demonstrates that we are going to do either a regular burpee or a reverse burpee, and yes holding the SANDBAG. Burpees have to be one of the hardest exercises ever, let alone with a SANDBAG. And, yes, you are correct in your assumption … four rounds of 30 seconds each. Now, not only are the arms, quads, and bootie burning, but now we wheeze, and huff and puff, and appear to be an asthmatic in the final throws of a major attack. Just a little cardio to get our bodies going!!! Mine feels like it has already went.
Now we journey to the track, and you guessed it, with our SANDBAGS. Our direction now is to run, RUN, a lap carrying our sandbags. We can carry them by the handles, we can carry them on our shoulders, or, we can carry them like footballs. Doesn’t matter how we carry them. Just carry them. Then to add insult to injury, after we RUN this lap, we are to stop and do triceps curls holding a sandbag in each hand, by the handle. Well, let me tell you … all that sand sinks to the bottom, and you feel like you are carrying and lifting the weight of the world!!! I might mention, that I did ask a few times, “How much do these weigh?” My answer, “not sure.”
The first lap, I carried my sandbags by the handles. Oh my!!! I could have just had easily drug a dead body along with me. We got all kinds of sympathy from others just walking or jogging the track. Many looked at us and said, “Bless your hearts.” Yes, indeed, bless them!!
I was so happy after the first lap, because I was so tired from running that I actually looked forward to the triceps curls. My mistake. Triceps curls with SANDBAGS are the demon!!! I didn’t know anything could hurt like that. That first lap complete, we are then told, “first lap down, two more to go.” My response, “Seriously? Seriously? SERIOUSLY?? Oh, yes, seriously!
The second lap, I tried putting the sandbags on my shoulders. Well my shoulders are about 3 inches from neck to end, and I made it all of about 25 yards before they both fell off. Now my sandbags are in the middle of the track and I’m trying to heft them back into my arms. I think I should have gotten extra credit for this extra maneuver, but I don’t think I did!! I approach the end of the second lap with one sandbag slung over my forearm, and the other one dangling from my hand. What a site!!! Thirty more seconds of triceps curls, and then one more lap.
The third lap, I just draped both of them over my forearms, and drug my poor tired body around the track for one more lap. Then one more set of triceps curls.
Sounds like cool down time to me. But, nope!! Back to our little room. Now we are going to work on our core and abs. Oh joy!!! Down on our backs we go for flutter kicks, yes holding our SANDBAG over our chests with arms extended. Four rounds of 30 seconds each. I’m trying to remember that I can do anything for 30 seconds!!! Then followed by full sit-ups, again holding our SANDBAG in our hands with arms extended with each sit-up. Four more rounds of 30 seconds each.
For the grand finale, we are asked to put the sandbag on our shins, legs straight, lay flat, and do leg raises. I'm not sure, and I don't remember when someone nailed my feet to the floor, but they surely did!! I could NOT MOVE MY LEGS!!! No amount of effort or grunting or groaning helped me get my legs off the floor. Not even one-quarter of an inch. A mere one-quarter of an inch!!!! I'm told that just trying was working, so just keep trying!!! That, I did!
Workout complete!!! Good job!!!
Now, I’m one of those folks that avoid a scale at all cost. But I was determined to find out just how much those sandbags weigh. I happily jumped on the scale, weighed myself, then got off, picked up my sandbags, and reweighed. I weighed 20 pounds more!! So each sandbag was 10 pounds. It doesn’t sound like a lot, but believe me, it was AMAZINGLY A LOT!!!!
But here is the real story behind this story … It seemed absolutely ominous to us, as we were doing this workout, the weight of those sandbags. They did weigh a total of 20 pounds. But last year, I carried not only 20 pounds around that track, I carried 77 pounds around that track. Not only around that track, but each and every day of my life, for 15 plus years, I carried 77 pounds around with me. Yes, that is my total weight loss to date. So, when I have those days that the scale is being a brat and showing a little gain, or when I want nachos, or candy, or egg rolls, or pizza, or meatballs … I think about those SANDBAGS and that workout designed for us by Brandon. I didn’t think those sandbags were my friends, and I thought Brandon had really challenged us, but now I realize they are both my friends . The sandbags put into perspective the unhealthy weight I had carried for far too long, and with Brandon’s guidance, my body has very healthily and very efficiently been taken to a new level.
God put me in the right place, at the right time, with the right people. Sit-up's and burpees and sandbags … oh my!!! I’ve never been happier!!
Our normal training group bounced into the gym on our normal workout on a Wednesday with Brandon. I’m always the one that either, before we get there, or while we are warming up asks, “What are we doing tonight?” My answer this particular night was, “sandbags.” Hmmmm… Sandbags … sounds interesting. But then we all see his little sly smile, and the rubbing of the palms together, and the chuckle going up the stairs to our workout area. Oh my!!!
We proceed into our room we often get to use for our workouts. The overhead fans are on, the exercise music is playing, and we see our floor mats and SANDBAGS ready and placed for us. We have never seen the sandbags before. Just a little sand-filled long tubular bag, with a handle on it similar to a gym bag handle. A sandbag! Brandon then begins to demonstrate that we are going to hold these sandbags, end to end initially. We are going to do sumo squats first, and when we come to standing position out of the sumo squat, we are going to press the sandbag over our heads. Kind of like an arm press with weight. Well allrighty then! Sounds pretty simple. And remember, his famous saying, “you can do anything for 30 seconds.” So we start out with our sandbag, squat, press, squat, press, squat press … 30 seconds!! After about 15 seconds, that sandbag was beginning to get on my nerves. He tells us to “rest.” We’ve heard this word many times before, and it always sounds like a gift from heaven when it is heard … just sayin’. So four rounds of the squats and overhead presses with the sandbags. Yes, the arms, quads, and bootie are burning a bit.
Not to be outdone by the sumo squats and presses, Brandon then demonstrates that we are going to do either a regular burpee or a reverse burpee, and yes holding the SANDBAG. Burpees have to be one of the hardest exercises ever, let alone with a SANDBAG. And, yes, you are correct in your assumption … four rounds of 30 seconds each. Now, not only are the arms, quads, and bootie burning, but now we wheeze, and huff and puff, and appear to be an asthmatic in the final throws of a major attack. Just a little cardio to get our bodies going!!! Mine feels like it has already went.
Now we journey to the track, and you guessed it, with our SANDBAGS. Our direction now is to run, RUN, a lap carrying our sandbags. We can carry them by the handles, we can carry them on our shoulders, or, we can carry them like footballs. Doesn’t matter how we carry them. Just carry them. Then to add insult to injury, after we RUN this lap, we are to stop and do triceps curls holding a sandbag in each hand, by the handle. Well, let me tell you … all that sand sinks to the bottom, and you feel like you are carrying and lifting the weight of the world!!! I might mention, that I did ask a few times, “How much do these weigh?” My answer, “not sure.”
The first lap, I carried my sandbags by the handles. Oh my!!! I could have just had easily drug a dead body along with me. We got all kinds of sympathy from others just walking or jogging the track. Many looked at us and said, “Bless your hearts.” Yes, indeed, bless them!!
I was so happy after the first lap, because I was so tired from running that I actually looked forward to the triceps curls. My mistake. Triceps curls with SANDBAGS are the demon!!! I didn’t know anything could hurt like that. That first lap complete, we are then told, “first lap down, two more to go.” My response, “Seriously? Seriously? SERIOUSLY?? Oh, yes, seriously!
The second lap, I tried putting the sandbags on my shoulders. Well my shoulders are about 3 inches from neck to end, and I made it all of about 25 yards before they both fell off. Now my sandbags are in the middle of the track and I’m trying to heft them back into my arms. I think I should have gotten extra credit for this extra maneuver, but I don’t think I did!! I approach the end of the second lap with one sandbag slung over my forearm, and the other one dangling from my hand. What a site!!! Thirty more seconds of triceps curls, and then one more lap.
The third lap, I just draped both of them over my forearms, and drug my poor tired body around the track for one more lap. Then one more set of triceps curls.
Sounds like cool down time to me. But, nope!! Back to our little room. Now we are going to work on our core and abs. Oh joy!!! Down on our backs we go for flutter kicks, yes holding our SANDBAG over our chests with arms extended. Four rounds of 30 seconds each. I’m trying to remember that I can do anything for 30 seconds!!! Then followed by full sit-ups, again holding our SANDBAG in our hands with arms extended with each sit-up. Four more rounds of 30 seconds each.
For the grand finale, we are asked to put the sandbag on our shins, legs straight, lay flat, and do leg raises. I'm not sure, and I don't remember when someone nailed my feet to the floor, but they surely did!! I could NOT MOVE MY LEGS!!! No amount of effort or grunting or groaning helped me get my legs off the floor. Not even one-quarter of an inch. A mere one-quarter of an inch!!!! I'm told that just trying was working, so just keep trying!!! That, I did!
Workout complete!!! Good job!!!
Now, I’m one of those folks that avoid a scale at all cost. But I was determined to find out just how much those sandbags weigh. I happily jumped on the scale, weighed myself, then got off, picked up my sandbags, and reweighed. I weighed 20 pounds more!! So each sandbag was 10 pounds. It doesn’t sound like a lot, but believe me, it was AMAZINGLY A LOT!!!!
But here is the real story behind this story … It seemed absolutely ominous to us, as we were doing this workout, the weight of those sandbags. They did weigh a total of 20 pounds. But last year, I carried not only 20 pounds around that track, I carried 77 pounds around that track. Not only around that track, but each and every day of my life, for 15 plus years, I carried 77 pounds around with me. Yes, that is my total weight loss to date. So, when I have those days that the scale is being a brat and showing a little gain, or when I want nachos, or candy, or egg rolls, or pizza, or meatballs … I think about those SANDBAGS and that workout designed for us by Brandon. I didn’t think those sandbags were my friends, and I thought Brandon had really challenged us, but now I realize they are both my friends . The sandbags put into perspective the unhealthy weight I had carried for far too long, and with Brandon’s guidance, my body has very healthily and very efficiently been taken to a new level.
God put me in the right place, at the right time, with the right people. Sit-up's and burpees and sandbags … oh my!!! I’ve never been happier!!
Saturday, September 19, 2015
Not Always The Real Story
The scale doesn’t always tell the story …
Gravitaphobia/Gravitophobia ! Have you ever heard of the word? I hadn’t either until I wanted to write this blog post regarding my fear of the scale. I googled, of course, to find out if there was a true phobia, and who knew? I find both of these words, actually in two separate articles, by the same author, Yoni Freedhoff, M.D. It is described in his article as the irrational fear of the scale and, therefore, avoidance of said scale. I may not be in that particular spot, but I am hovering along the edges. Maybe, mini-gravitaphobia! He speaks in his article of people that will not make eye contact with their bathroom scale, when they go into the room. I don’t have to worry about that. My scale is buried in my walk-in closet under my shoes. And for anyone who knows me, that would mean it can’t be easily or readily seen under my pile of shoes. It would probably take at least 2 hours to shovel it out, and think of all the exercise credit I would get for that maneuver? I think there may be another name for shoe addiction, but that is for another time!!
When I started my Wellness Journey, I of course, had to weigh in. Even though embarrassed by my weight, the first night was ever so easy to do so, as was the second week, the third week, and maybe even into the fourth week. But, I found as I progressed through my journey, I became more and more anxious. I was lucky enough to lose 5 pounds the first week, then 2, then 3, then 1.5. Even small increments were victories. But I found, as I progressed, I became more and more anxious each time I weighed, for fear that one weigh-in may show an increase. Any increase, any increment of an increase put the fear of disaster in my mind, and it hovered close to the skin like needles pricking each week. Our Health Educator, Brandon, often speaks to these scale numbers. He says over and over again that our bodies do very strange things, and that the number on the scale is simply put, just that!! A number on the scale. He reiterates over and over again that as long as we do what we are supposed to do, eat the healthy foods, the right combinations, exercise the way we should, drink a healthy portion of water, and get adequate sleep, that the number on the scale is simply a number. That number may go up, it may go down, it may go up again, but it will always correct itself, if we stay the course! I don’t know why this is so hard for me to embrace, but all I can say is that it is extremely hard for me. But, the scale doesn’t always tell the story …
I went 32 weeks in my journey, before I stepped on the scale and showed a gain. A “gain” … yes, a “gain” of … THREE-QUARTERS OF A POUND!!! Sounds miniscule, doesn’t it? I don’t like to get upset in front of people. It was ever so apparent by my facial expression that I was upset, and when others tried to talk with me, all I could say was “don’t be nice to me.” Trying to be nice anyway, they were, and well, it resulted in tears, and feelings of “oh my gosh, all this weight is coming back.” I was almost inconsolable. As much as my brain knew I was just fine, my heart was broken, I felt that ever fear of past failures, and to be quite honest, was really ticked off because I hadn’t done anything to gain anything!!!! But, the scale doesn’t always tell the story …
My wellness class is always on Monday night. That is the worst day in the week to weigh! I don’t “cheat” on the weekend, but let’s face it … my schedule is completely different on the weekend than it is Monday through Friday. During the work week, I exercise at the same time in the morning, eat breakfast at the same time, have my mid-morning snack at the same time, eat lunch at the same time, have my mid afternoon snack at the same time, exercise in the late afternoon at the same time, have dinner at the same time, and have my bedtime snack at the same time. Sound regimented. Well, yes it is!!!!! But on Saturday and Sunday, even though I eat the same foods, the times are different for everything. I often will not even start eating until later in the afternoon, and stop eating later at night. My sleep habits are completely different on the weekend. So Monday rolls around for weigh-in, and what should I expect? I expect to lose weight or stay the same, but that doesn’t always happen. Then, here comes the fear again. But, the scale doesn’t always tell the story …
Because of my fears, Brandon in his wisdom, asked me to do a little study for our class. He asked me to weigh myself for 4 days throughout a week, and to try to weigh myself every hour or so. I started on a Sunday, and weighed myself Sunday, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I tried to weigh as close to every hour as I could. I even had a scale in my office at work. What a roller coaster!!! I weighed upon awakening, before exercise, after exercise, before eating, after eating, and before bedtime. My weight fluctuated throughout any given day as much as 7 pounds. SEVEN POUNDS!!!! So, why in the world am I stressing over one-half pound, one pound, or whatever on any given Monday night? Another point, with this daily weight documentation, was what my weight did with stress. Brandon had told me, in particular, and the class as a whole on several occasions that cortisol can do crazy things with weight. My worry, fear, whatever you want to call it … was probably making my cortisol go nuts every Monday night!! Sure enough, on one of my days of weighing every hour, I was particulary stressed, so I purposefully weighed. I had weighed one hour before, and when I weighed during my stress time, I had GAINED THREE POUNDS!!! One hour later, it was right back down. Point proven! But, the scale doesn’t always tell the story …
Even though I have gotten braver, as I like to call it, with my weigh-ins, I still have my moments of dejection, fright, anger, grit my teeth, keep my mouth shut moments when I weigh. On my last weigh-in, I showed a TWO POUND “gain”. I looked at Brandon and said, “but I didn’t do anything.” His immediate response, “that’s why you shouldn’t be worried.” The right words, at the right time, with the right smile, and the right firmness. Just go sit down, Sharon!!!
I’ve said many times during this post … but, the scale doesn’t always tell the story. The scale certainly helps write the story, but here is the REAL story:
77 pounds lost!!! In mostly no bigger increments than 1.5 or 2 pounds per week. To quote another success story, “celebrate every quarter pound lost, but for those quarters, you wouldn’t be where you are today.” So I celebrate my 77 pounds lost!!
Completely off my cholesterol medication. I have a familial tendency for this, so I may not be able to maintain on my own without medication. But I celebrate that I was taking 20 mgs. of Lipitor daily, then 10 mgs., then 5 mgs., and now none!!!
I have reduced my blood pressure medication to one-half the original dosage, and may be tapered completely off of it in a few weeks. I celebrate that I am able to reduce and possibly stop this medication!
My exercise level has gone from ZERO to HIGH INTENSITY on several days each week and moderate exercise daily. I celebrate the new-found movement of my body. It is a beautiful feeling!
I feel younger than I have in years. I could choose to beat myself up for being unhealthy for so long, but I choose to celebrate my health and how I feel every morning when my feet hit the floor.
I look different ! I celebrate when people see me, who haven’t seen me in a while. I first get the stare of “I know I should know you.” Then I get the “oh my, I wouldn’t have known you.” I celebrate it is the same me, but I just look different. It’s the difference of looking healthy!! How beautiful is that?
I now can go to mostly any restaurant or any event and make an informed decision of the right choice. I celebrate the knowledge of this decision-making, but mostly the freedom that this knowledge affords me. My decisions are better today than they were yesterday. I celebrate my new found freedom!!
I feel braver and more competent in my skin. With each step, of each day, of each month, and now into more than a full year, I get braver with each “success.” I celebrate my bravery!!
And most importantly, when I started this journey and was asked why I wanted to join this program, my immediate response was, “I’m just so tired of going to bed every night and being so disappointed with myself.” I celebrate now when I lay head to pillow at night and I’m not disappointed with myself!! I’ve learned it is true, that you need to love yourself first! I celebrate that first!!!
So these are the real stories. The scale doesn’t always tell the story. It is a small part of a journey that I will be forever grateful to have taken and continue to take. I will forever celebrate and have gratitude to my support team and the folks that have taken this journey by my side. I love them all dearly. They are gifted by God and grace-filled, and they have shared their gifts and grace with me. I celebrate their grace!
My God put me in the right place, at the right time, with the right people. I lay head to pillow at night with no disappointment but with prayers of huge gratitude. That, my friends, is not only the real story, it is the ULTIMATE STORY!!
Gravitaphobia/Gravitophobia ! Have you ever heard of the word? I hadn’t either until I wanted to write this blog post regarding my fear of the scale. I googled, of course, to find out if there was a true phobia, and who knew? I find both of these words, actually in two separate articles, by the same author, Yoni Freedhoff, M.D. It is described in his article as the irrational fear of the scale and, therefore, avoidance of said scale. I may not be in that particular spot, but I am hovering along the edges. Maybe, mini-gravitaphobia! He speaks in his article of people that will not make eye contact with their bathroom scale, when they go into the room. I don’t have to worry about that. My scale is buried in my walk-in closet under my shoes. And for anyone who knows me, that would mean it can’t be easily or readily seen under my pile of shoes. It would probably take at least 2 hours to shovel it out, and think of all the exercise credit I would get for that maneuver? I think there may be another name for shoe addiction, but that is for another time!!
When I started my Wellness Journey, I of course, had to weigh in. Even though embarrassed by my weight, the first night was ever so easy to do so, as was the second week, the third week, and maybe even into the fourth week. But, I found as I progressed through my journey, I became more and more anxious. I was lucky enough to lose 5 pounds the first week, then 2, then 3, then 1.5. Even small increments were victories. But I found, as I progressed, I became more and more anxious each time I weighed, for fear that one weigh-in may show an increase. Any increase, any increment of an increase put the fear of disaster in my mind, and it hovered close to the skin like needles pricking each week. Our Health Educator, Brandon, often speaks to these scale numbers. He says over and over again that our bodies do very strange things, and that the number on the scale is simply put, just that!! A number on the scale. He reiterates over and over again that as long as we do what we are supposed to do, eat the healthy foods, the right combinations, exercise the way we should, drink a healthy portion of water, and get adequate sleep, that the number on the scale is simply a number. That number may go up, it may go down, it may go up again, but it will always correct itself, if we stay the course! I don’t know why this is so hard for me to embrace, but all I can say is that it is extremely hard for me. But, the scale doesn’t always tell the story …
I went 32 weeks in my journey, before I stepped on the scale and showed a gain. A “gain” … yes, a “gain” of … THREE-QUARTERS OF A POUND!!! Sounds miniscule, doesn’t it? I don’t like to get upset in front of people. It was ever so apparent by my facial expression that I was upset, and when others tried to talk with me, all I could say was “don’t be nice to me.” Trying to be nice anyway, they were, and well, it resulted in tears, and feelings of “oh my gosh, all this weight is coming back.” I was almost inconsolable. As much as my brain knew I was just fine, my heart was broken, I felt that ever fear of past failures, and to be quite honest, was really ticked off because I hadn’t done anything to gain anything!!!! But, the scale doesn’t always tell the story …
My wellness class is always on Monday night. That is the worst day in the week to weigh! I don’t “cheat” on the weekend, but let’s face it … my schedule is completely different on the weekend than it is Monday through Friday. During the work week, I exercise at the same time in the morning, eat breakfast at the same time, have my mid-morning snack at the same time, eat lunch at the same time, have my mid afternoon snack at the same time, exercise in the late afternoon at the same time, have dinner at the same time, and have my bedtime snack at the same time. Sound regimented. Well, yes it is!!!!! But on Saturday and Sunday, even though I eat the same foods, the times are different for everything. I often will not even start eating until later in the afternoon, and stop eating later at night. My sleep habits are completely different on the weekend. So Monday rolls around for weigh-in, and what should I expect? I expect to lose weight or stay the same, but that doesn’t always happen. Then, here comes the fear again. But, the scale doesn’t always tell the story …
Because of my fears, Brandon in his wisdom, asked me to do a little study for our class. He asked me to weigh myself for 4 days throughout a week, and to try to weigh myself every hour or so. I started on a Sunday, and weighed myself Sunday, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I tried to weigh as close to every hour as I could. I even had a scale in my office at work. What a roller coaster!!! I weighed upon awakening, before exercise, after exercise, before eating, after eating, and before bedtime. My weight fluctuated throughout any given day as much as 7 pounds. SEVEN POUNDS!!!! So, why in the world am I stressing over one-half pound, one pound, or whatever on any given Monday night? Another point, with this daily weight documentation, was what my weight did with stress. Brandon had told me, in particular, and the class as a whole on several occasions that cortisol can do crazy things with weight. My worry, fear, whatever you want to call it … was probably making my cortisol go nuts every Monday night!! Sure enough, on one of my days of weighing every hour, I was particulary stressed, so I purposefully weighed. I had weighed one hour before, and when I weighed during my stress time, I had GAINED THREE POUNDS!!! One hour later, it was right back down. Point proven! But, the scale doesn’t always tell the story …
Even though I have gotten braver, as I like to call it, with my weigh-ins, I still have my moments of dejection, fright, anger, grit my teeth, keep my mouth shut moments when I weigh. On my last weigh-in, I showed a TWO POUND “gain”. I looked at Brandon and said, “but I didn’t do anything.” His immediate response, “that’s why you shouldn’t be worried.” The right words, at the right time, with the right smile, and the right firmness. Just go sit down, Sharon!!!
I’ve said many times during this post … but, the scale doesn’t always tell the story. The scale certainly helps write the story, but here is the REAL story:
77 pounds lost!!! In mostly no bigger increments than 1.5 or 2 pounds per week. To quote another success story, “celebrate every quarter pound lost, but for those quarters, you wouldn’t be where you are today.” So I celebrate my 77 pounds lost!!
Completely off my cholesterol medication. I have a familial tendency for this, so I may not be able to maintain on my own without medication. But I celebrate that I was taking 20 mgs. of Lipitor daily, then 10 mgs., then 5 mgs., and now none!!!
I have reduced my blood pressure medication to one-half the original dosage, and may be tapered completely off of it in a few weeks. I celebrate that I am able to reduce and possibly stop this medication!
My exercise level has gone from ZERO to HIGH INTENSITY on several days each week and moderate exercise daily. I celebrate the new-found movement of my body. It is a beautiful feeling!
I feel younger than I have in years. I could choose to beat myself up for being unhealthy for so long, but I choose to celebrate my health and how I feel every morning when my feet hit the floor.
I look different ! I celebrate when people see me, who haven’t seen me in a while. I first get the stare of “I know I should know you.” Then I get the “oh my, I wouldn’t have known you.” I celebrate it is the same me, but I just look different. It’s the difference of looking healthy!! How beautiful is that?
I now can go to mostly any restaurant or any event and make an informed decision of the right choice. I celebrate the knowledge of this decision-making, but mostly the freedom that this knowledge affords me. My decisions are better today than they were yesterday. I celebrate my new found freedom!!
I feel braver and more competent in my skin. With each step, of each day, of each month, and now into more than a full year, I get braver with each “success.” I celebrate my bravery!!
And most importantly, when I started this journey and was asked why I wanted to join this program, my immediate response was, “I’m just so tired of going to bed every night and being so disappointed with myself.” I celebrate now when I lay head to pillow at night and I’m not disappointed with myself!! I’ve learned it is true, that you need to love yourself first! I celebrate that first!!!
So these are the real stories. The scale doesn’t always tell the story. It is a small part of a journey that I will be forever grateful to have taken and continue to take. I will forever celebrate and have gratitude to my support team and the folks that have taken this journey by my side. I love them all dearly. They are gifted by God and grace-filled, and they have shared their gifts and grace with me. I celebrate their grace!
My God put me in the right place, at the right time, with the right people. I lay head to pillow at night with no disappointment but with prayers of huge gratitude. That, my friends, is not only the real story, it is the ULTIMATE STORY!!
Friday, September 11, 2015
My Spirit of Power
2 Timothy 1:7
7 For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and self-discipline.
For the first time ever, when I started my Wellness Journey (I refuse to call it a diet!) I was also required to do physical activity, along with the healthy eating plan. I have participated in, been successful, been unsuccessful, and gone back and forth in all points between on every other “diet” I have embarked upon. But this time, for the first time, I was given a structured exercise plan, in a gym, with a trainer!!
My first night of exercise with our trainer, Brandon, was quite an eye opener. During my years, I have always been very active. I danced in my younger years, A LOT!!! I played tennis, swam, walked, and participated in extra-curricular activities that involved physical activity. But, I had probably become the consummate couch potato for well over the last 15 years. I had ballooned to a higher weight than ever, had aches and pains that I just accepted, and found it more and more difficult to move without pain and shortness of breath. Again, I had decided to accept this. My physical activity consisted of working all day, walking my dog a bit, cooking, EATING, and sitting on the couch with my favorite book. It had been so long since I had actually gone to the gym, that I went bouncing in there the first night under some pretense that I was going to just be great! Oh my …
My trainer …
Brandon is an excellent trainer! This has got to be the first step in any good exercise program. Find the right trainer that understands the body and all the moving parts. We found early on, that Brandon could watch our movement and help us to proceed more effectively. He also knew intuitively what we would be capable of doing or even to be able to attempt to do. He is not a Jillian Michaels trainer. There is no screaming, no belittling, and no barking. And thank goodness … that would never have worked for me!!! He is a mentor. A wonderful mentor and a coach. He mixes fun with good hard work, and is a gentle soul, with a firm guidance. And, of course, he has a favorite saying … “You can do anything for 30 seconds.” That’s really hard to believe most of the time, when you think you may die in the next 5 seconds. Why is it that 5 MINUTES on a snooze alarm seem like a nanosecond, and 5 SECONDS of burpees seem like an hour? Crazy!!! But back to that first night … I remember we were to warm up on the treadmill with a little cardio. I walked on the treadmill at about 2.5 MPH for 10 minutes, and I could hardly breathe. My back hurt so badly I wanted to cry. I looked at Brandon and said, “Well that sucked.” His response, “What?” “ You did great. That was better than I even imagined.” I will never forget that response. I went from feeling totally and completely inadequate to feeling like I may just have this thing. I may just be able to do this. I may be able to exercise again. In reality, it really did suck!!! But, Brandon wouldn’t let me feel that way. Because of his answer, his mentoring, his coaching, and his concern, I moved right on to the next round of required “sit and stands.” Sit on a bench, stand up, sit back down, stand up, sit back down. And repeat 3 rotations of 30 seconds of each. After all, “You can do anything for 30 seconds.” We probably exercised that first night for about 45 minutes, with some of it being instruction in proper technique rather than actual movement. But it was the perfect basis, for the perfect first session, for the perfect send-off to exercise, and is probably one of the main reasons why my group still, 17 months later, still has training sessions weekly with Brandon. Yes, we found, we indeed can do most anything for 30 seconds. At least the things that Brandon challenged us to do and continues to challenge us to do. Because as a good trainer, he knows what is not possible for us …. Just yet!!!! Was it or is it easy? Absolutely not … but doable!!!!
Endurance …
When I say endurance, I don’t necessarily mean endurance with actual exercise. I mean endurance with continuing to exercise on a most regular basis. For the first month or so, after I would leave the gym, I would say to anyone that I came in contact with, whether I knew them or not, “I don’t believe any of these nuts that say they love exercise. That’s just bull!! I may do it, but I will never like it.” Well, eat my words. Thank goodness my words are not chunked full of calories!!!! I LOVE exercise now!! I exercise multiple times a week. I even exercise twice a day on many days each week. The exuberance of feeling movement in my body again is almost indescribable. I am more active, can do more, and have more flexibility and muscle control than I have had for many, many years. And, I LOVE it!!! Now instead of coming home after a busy day and falling onto my couch, I look forward to heading to the gym, and hitting the cardio or the weights. It’s amazing how this is now my relaxation and stress releaser. When I don’t move, don’t participate, don’t exercise, I actually feel more tired. Now I know how all those “nuts” that were saying how much they love exercise really feel. I’m one of those “nuts”!!!!
In future posts, I will share funny stories of certain sessions. This is just my overview and my opinion of exercise. Why I do it, why I love it, and why I am so thankful it is a part of my healthy lifestyle and my wellness journey.
Again, all things are made possible through our God. God placed me in the right place, at the right time, and with the right people. I am forever grateful.
2 Timothy 1:7
7 For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and self-discipline.
My spirit of power!!
7 For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and self-discipline.
For the first time ever, when I started my Wellness Journey (I refuse to call it a diet!) I was also required to do physical activity, along with the healthy eating plan. I have participated in, been successful, been unsuccessful, and gone back and forth in all points between on every other “diet” I have embarked upon. But this time, for the first time, I was given a structured exercise plan, in a gym, with a trainer!!
My first night of exercise with our trainer, Brandon, was quite an eye opener. During my years, I have always been very active. I danced in my younger years, A LOT!!! I played tennis, swam, walked, and participated in extra-curricular activities that involved physical activity. But, I had probably become the consummate couch potato for well over the last 15 years. I had ballooned to a higher weight than ever, had aches and pains that I just accepted, and found it more and more difficult to move without pain and shortness of breath. Again, I had decided to accept this. My physical activity consisted of working all day, walking my dog a bit, cooking, EATING, and sitting on the couch with my favorite book. It had been so long since I had actually gone to the gym, that I went bouncing in there the first night under some pretense that I was going to just be great! Oh my …
My trainer …
Brandon is an excellent trainer! This has got to be the first step in any good exercise program. Find the right trainer that understands the body and all the moving parts. We found early on, that Brandon could watch our movement and help us to proceed more effectively. He also knew intuitively what we would be capable of doing or even to be able to attempt to do. He is not a Jillian Michaels trainer. There is no screaming, no belittling, and no barking. And thank goodness … that would never have worked for me!!! He is a mentor. A wonderful mentor and a coach. He mixes fun with good hard work, and is a gentle soul, with a firm guidance. And, of course, he has a favorite saying … “You can do anything for 30 seconds.” That’s really hard to believe most of the time, when you think you may die in the next 5 seconds. Why is it that 5 MINUTES on a snooze alarm seem like a nanosecond, and 5 SECONDS of burpees seem like an hour? Crazy!!! But back to that first night … I remember we were to warm up on the treadmill with a little cardio. I walked on the treadmill at about 2.5 MPH for 10 minutes, and I could hardly breathe. My back hurt so badly I wanted to cry. I looked at Brandon and said, “Well that sucked.” His response, “What?” “ You did great. That was better than I even imagined.” I will never forget that response. I went from feeling totally and completely inadequate to feeling like I may just have this thing. I may just be able to do this. I may be able to exercise again. In reality, it really did suck!!! But, Brandon wouldn’t let me feel that way. Because of his answer, his mentoring, his coaching, and his concern, I moved right on to the next round of required “sit and stands.” Sit on a bench, stand up, sit back down, stand up, sit back down. And repeat 3 rotations of 30 seconds of each. After all, “You can do anything for 30 seconds.” We probably exercised that first night for about 45 minutes, with some of it being instruction in proper technique rather than actual movement. But it was the perfect basis, for the perfect first session, for the perfect send-off to exercise, and is probably one of the main reasons why my group still, 17 months later, still has training sessions weekly with Brandon. Yes, we found, we indeed can do most anything for 30 seconds. At least the things that Brandon challenged us to do and continues to challenge us to do. Because as a good trainer, he knows what is not possible for us …. Just yet!!!! Was it or is it easy? Absolutely not … but doable!!!!
Endurance …
When I say endurance, I don’t necessarily mean endurance with actual exercise. I mean endurance with continuing to exercise on a most regular basis. For the first month or so, after I would leave the gym, I would say to anyone that I came in contact with, whether I knew them or not, “I don’t believe any of these nuts that say they love exercise. That’s just bull!! I may do it, but I will never like it.” Well, eat my words. Thank goodness my words are not chunked full of calories!!!! I LOVE exercise now!! I exercise multiple times a week. I even exercise twice a day on many days each week. The exuberance of feeling movement in my body again is almost indescribable. I am more active, can do more, and have more flexibility and muscle control than I have had for many, many years. And, I LOVE it!!! Now instead of coming home after a busy day and falling onto my couch, I look forward to heading to the gym, and hitting the cardio or the weights. It’s amazing how this is now my relaxation and stress releaser. When I don’t move, don’t participate, don’t exercise, I actually feel more tired. Now I know how all those “nuts” that were saying how much they love exercise really feel. I’m one of those “nuts”!!!!
In future posts, I will share funny stories of certain sessions. This is just my overview and my opinion of exercise. Why I do it, why I love it, and why I am so thankful it is a part of my healthy lifestyle and my wellness journey.
Again, all things are made possible through our God. God placed me in the right place, at the right time, and with the right people. I am forever grateful.
2 Timothy 1:7
7 For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and self-discipline.
My spirit of power!!
Thursday, August 27, 2015
My Healthy Birthday ...
It’s been quite a while since posting on this blog. There has definitely been a lot that has changed in my life. I’ll try to put words to paper to give my journey justice, but I doubt this can or will be accomplished appropriately. It is simply a passion that I now relay to you.
I have a new birthday!!
Yes, I’m now a little over a year and a half old. On April 7, 2014 I started on a journey of what I hoped would be weight loss. Sounds like a diet! Sounds pretty normal. Sounds doable. Sounds like I might fail … again! Sounds like I may lose some weight … again! Sounds like I may gain some or all of it back … again! After all it’s a diet. Isn’t that what happens with all diets? But, little did I know of where I was headed … the ride, the roller coaster, the mountains, the meadows, the tears, the laughter, the pain of exercise, the exuberance of movement, the dreaded scale, the thrill of small results … oh, the journey that I set out on, and the journey that I continue!
I am 4’9” tall, so you can definitely say that I am vertically challenged. I also share, that on my first weigh-in, I was 199.5 pounds. So your vision is correct … I was as wide as I was tall. I’m not sure at what point during my gradual, but very steady weight gain, that I actually saw myself in the mirror and felt that it was okay to be the size I was, or look the way I looked, or more importantly feel the way I felt. My only justification has to be, that it was simply such a gradual progression, that I was blind to the vision, and grew accustomed to the aches and pains. Can you even imagine growing accustomed to aches and pains? But, to me, that is one of the first symptoms of food addiction. If I had broken a bone and had pain, I would have gone to the doctor to fix it! If I had slipped on the ice, and my back was aching, I would have gone for x-rays to check it out. If I had tripped over my dog and banged my knee and had pain, I would have readily picked up the phone and called the orthopedist. If I had had a bad cold or flu, and couldn’t breathe fully, I would have been on the exam table in my primary care physician’s office. But somehow, when one suffers from food addiction, and the subsequent weight gain associated with that addiction, it suddenly becomes satisfactory to become accustomed to aches and pains. “I’m just so overweight, my knees hurt.” “If I didn’t weigh so much, I’m sure my back wouldn’t hurt.” “If I wasn’t wearing this flotation device around my waist, it wouldn’t hurt so much to bend over and tie my shoes.” “If I could just lose some weight, I could climb this flight of stairs without gasping for breath.” Or my favorite, “I get so short of breath. I inherited my Daddy’s lungs.” Somehow, somehow it is okay to justify the aches and pains associated with obesity, and if not actually justify it, accept that it just is what it is. But it doesn’t have to be that way!!
Obesity is a leading cause of many illnesses. Heart disease, hypertension, diabetes, orthopedic issues, pulmonary issues, and the list goes on, and on, and on!!! But the good news is obesity is treatable!! Treatable!! Treatable!! Yes, it is treatable!!! Is it easy to treat? Absolutely not!!!!! There is a patchwork quilt of diet plans on the market today. Low carbs, low proteins, high proteins, low sugar, low sodium, vegetarian, vegan, shakes, smoothies, liquid diets, diet pills, diet teas, herbal remedies, tree bark, Weight Watchers, Nutrisystem, Slim Fast, Optifast. And, I bet, I have only named a handful. Is there any wonder why we are all so confused, and bouncing from one attempt to another, with little or no success, and weight loss and gains moving faster than the Championship Yo Yo Winner? But, it is treatable!!!! It is treatable!!! Everyone will have their BEST EVER diet and plan that works for them. They will try to convince you that you should do the same. I won’t do that, because I am a firm believer of “to each their own.” But I will use one word. One word that my health educator and coach has used over, and over, and over, and over again with me … BALANCE!!!! There is a balance needed. It is needed for health, for the body, for all the moving parts to work together. And to me, even more importantly, it is needed for maintenance and sustainability of a true life change that can and needs to continue forever. To steal a comment from another success story … It is never “before and after.” It is always “before and now.” There is never an “after.” There is always a “now.” Balance is what makes the “now” just keep on going!!
So my journey …
I can’t tell you how many times I would say, while watching Oprah, “if I had someone fixing my food, and if I had a personal trainer, and a gym, I could lose weight, too.” Well, I finally got the opportunity to put my time, money, and effort where my mouth was … literally!! I work at Baptist Health Care, and they had an employee wellness initiative. Boy, do I love the word Wellness! They had a wellness initiative they offered to their employees. They offered the HMR Diet Plan, coupled with a gym membership, and a personal trainer for 13 weeks. Then they went the step further, and offered the continuing support classes for an additional 6 months. So, there in front of me was the food, the support, the gym, and the trainer for 13 weeks. The catch … we had to sign up for the full 9 months! So, I now had the choice to put my time and effort where my mouth had been. No excuses, the offering was right in front of me. And, I did it!! I attended my first class on April 7, 2014. My healthy birthday!
I walked into the meeting room with the same feelings of every other diet I had started. Here I go again!!! I didn’t even tell friends or family I was embarking on yet another attempt. Too hard to justify months later why I was still overweight or had completely dropped out again!!! So, I attended my first meeting with the same dread, same reservations as before, but I have to admit with a renewed hope. Had I finally had enough? Had I finally gotten sick and tired of being sick and tired? Had I finally looked in the mirror and saw what really looked back at me? One of the first questions we were asked, was why we had joined the program? So many folks shared they were pre-diabetic, or had heart disease, or had arthritis, or had hypertension, or had hypercholesterolemia, or had strong family history and were trying to practice prevention. The only response that came out of my mouth, was that I was so tired of putting head to pillow at night and being so greatly disappointed with myself. Enough said.
We met our health educator and personal trainer that first night. Brandon! God love Brandon!! You will see his name mentioned in this post and several to follow, I am most sure. We were also his first HMR class. He had been a trainer for several years, but we were his first HMR class. God love Brandon! He will never know the true gift he has been to so many people. I can only hope that he can feel the love we all have for him. He has literally saved our lives. But I digress … the first meeting. We weighed in, of course. The dreaded scale, my nemesis, my fear, my enemy, and the one thing I still fight with!! But after weigh-in, Brandon conducted our meeting, and we quickly saw that we were not just learning about the Phase 1 of the HMR Diet Plan, but he was offering us so much good advice about health, nutrients, sleep, exercise, and oh yes, the BALANCE of the importance of all of it. Our class was about an hour or a little longer, but the time flew by. Now came the challenge of following the plan for the next week, so we could face the scale again! Phase 1 of the HMR Diet Plan is extremely regimented. It is a no-brainer, very easy to follow. It is designed to help you lose the most weight possible in that first 13 weeks. This not only serves the purpose of losing weight, but it also is a great motivator. When you see results, you naturally want to continue. Then after the first 13 weeks you move into Phase 2, which is gradually putting “normal” foods back into your system, but in a healthy, planned, and controlled manner. Living in the real world but in a healthy way. Tons of fruits and vegetables, lean protein, whole grain, and healthy fats. Again that word … BALANCE!!
For the first 13 weeks (and even for a bit afterwards) I wore the same ugly blue dress. I wanted to make sure that when I weighed that my clothing did not affect the results on the scale. At the end of this post, I will share the picture. I eventually quit wearing that dress, and Brandon had the pleasure of ripping it to shreds. I still have that dress. It is my trophy!!
So this is the beginning of my journey. From April 7, 2014 to December 29, 2014 I lost 70 pounds!!!! I lost 30 pounds in Phase 1, which truly was a motivator to continue onward. I lost the next 40 pounds in Phase 2, and I am down another 5 to 7 pounds (depending on whether the scale is being a brat or not.) It would be wonderful to hit the magic 80 pounds of loss, but at this point, it is a number in my head. I am a healthy, active, in fact more active person, than I have been since my high school years. And believe me, high school is a long way in my past. I am 16 months old in my healthy birthday calculation, and 62 years old in my “normal” birthday!!! When I look at my years in this stage of my life, one of my biggest regrets of my years of obesity, are truly the years that I lost being unhealthy. Until I returned to a healthy state, I couldn’t fully comprehend what I was missing. But it is clear, oh so clear now! But, I elect not to dwell on the past and feel sorry for those days, but embrace my future and live it! Sometimes we have to weather a storm before we can enjoy the sunshine.
I’ll continue to share my journey in future posts. There is so much more to tell!! We’ve only just begun. The excitement of exercise is next!!! And believe me, it’s not always a pretty sight. In fact, it rarely if ever is!!! But, I can assure you, it is always most entertaining.
But in keeping with my outlook on life., all things are only possible through our faith and our God. God truly put me in the right place, at the right time, with the right folks. This journey has never been one step at a time by me the whole way. It has always been one step at a time with much support from many. And, of course, with God as my pilot!
I have a new birthday!!
Yes, I’m now a little over a year and a half old. On April 7, 2014 I started on a journey of what I hoped would be weight loss. Sounds like a diet! Sounds pretty normal. Sounds doable. Sounds like I might fail … again! Sounds like I may lose some weight … again! Sounds like I may gain some or all of it back … again! After all it’s a diet. Isn’t that what happens with all diets? But, little did I know of where I was headed … the ride, the roller coaster, the mountains, the meadows, the tears, the laughter, the pain of exercise, the exuberance of movement, the dreaded scale, the thrill of small results … oh, the journey that I set out on, and the journey that I continue!
I am 4’9” tall, so you can definitely say that I am vertically challenged. I also share, that on my first weigh-in, I was 199.5 pounds. So your vision is correct … I was as wide as I was tall. I’m not sure at what point during my gradual, but very steady weight gain, that I actually saw myself in the mirror and felt that it was okay to be the size I was, or look the way I looked, or more importantly feel the way I felt. My only justification has to be, that it was simply such a gradual progression, that I was blind to the vision, and grew accustomed to the aches and pains. Can you even imagine growing accustomed to aches and pains? But, to me, that is one of the first symptoms of food addiction. If I had broken a bone and had pain, I would have gone to the doctor to fix it! If I had slipped on the ice, and my back was aching, I would have gone for x-rays to check it out. If I had tripped over my dog and banged my knee and had pain, I would have readily picked up the phone and called the orthopedist. If I had had a bad cold or flu, and couldn’t breathe fully, I would have been on the exam table in my primary care physician’s office. But somehow, when one suffers from food addiction, and the subsequent weight gain associated with that addiction, it suddenly becomes satisfactory to become accustomed to aches and pains. “I’m just so overweight, my knees hurt.” “If I didn’t weigh so much, I’m sure my back wouldn’t hurt.” “If I wasn’t wearing this flotation device around my waist, it wouldn’t hurt so much to bend over and tie my shoes.” “If I could just lose some weight, I could climb this flight of stairs without gasping for breath.” Or my favorite, “I get so short of breath. I inherited my Daddy’s lungs.” Somehow, somehow it is okay to justify the aches and pains associated with obesity, and if not actually justify it, accept that it just is what it is. But it doesn’t have to be that way!!
Obesity is a leading cause of many illnesses. Heart disease, hypertension, diabetes, orthopedic issues, pulmonary issues, and the list goes on, and on, and on!!! But the good news is obesity is treatable!! Treatable!! Treatable!! Yes, it is treatable!!! Is it easy to treat? Absolutely not!!!!! There is a patchwork quilt of diet plans on the market today. Low carbs, low proteins, high proteins, low sugar, low sodium, vegetarian, vegan, shakes, smoothies, liquid diets, diet pills, diet teas, herbal remedies, tree bark, Weight Watchers, Nutrisystem, Slim Fast, Optifast. And, I bet, I have only named a handful. Is there any wonder why we are all so confused, and bouncing from one attempt to another, with little or no success, and weight loss and gains moving faster than the Championship Yo Yo Winner? But, it is treatable!!!! It is treatable!!! Everyone will have their BEST EVER diet and plan that works for them. They will try to convince you that you should do the same. I won’t do that, because I am a firm believer of “to each their own.” But I will use one word. One word that my health educator and coach has used over, and over, and over, and over again with me … BALANCE!!!! There is a balance needed. It is needed for health, for the body, for all the moving parts to work together. And to me, even more importantly, it is needed for maintenance and sustainability of a true life change that can and needs to continue forever. To steal a comment from another success story … It is never “before and after.” It is always “before and now.” There is never an “after.” There is always a “now.” Balance is what makes the “now” just keep on going!!
So my journey …
I can’t tell you how many times I would say, while watching Oprah, “if I had someone fixing my food, and if I had a personal trainer, and a gym, I could lose weight, too.” Well, I finally got the opportunity to put my time, money, and effort where my mouth was … literally!! I work at Baptist Health Care, and they had an employee wellness initiative. Boy, do I love the word Wellness! They had a wellness initiative they offered to their employees. They offered the HMR Diet Plan, coupled with a gym membership, and a personal trainer for 13 weeks. Then they went the step further, and offered the continuing support classes for an additional 6 months. So, there in front of me was the food, the support, the gym, and the trainer for 13 weeks. The catch … we had to sign up for the full 9 months! So, I now had the choice to put my time and effort where my mouth had been. No excuses, the offering was right in front of me. And, I did it!! I attended my first class on April 7, 2014. My healthy birthday!
I walked into the meeting room with the same feelings of every other diet I had started. Here I go again!!! I didn’t even tell friends or family I was embarking on yet another attempt. Too hard to justify months later why I was still overweight or had completely dropped out again!!! So, I attended my first meeting with the same dread, same reservations as before, but I have to admit with a renewed hope. Had I finally had enough? Had I finally gotten sick and tired of being sick and tired? Had I finally looked in the mirror and saw what really looked back at me? One of the first questions we were asked, was why we had joined the program? So many folks shared they were pre-diabetic, or had heart disease, or had arthritis, or had hypertension, or had hypercholesterolemia, or had strong family history and were trying to practice prevention. The only response that came out of my mouth, was that I was so tired of putting head to pillow at night and being so greatly disappointed with myself. Enough said.
We met our health educator and personal trainer that first night. Brandon! God love Brandon!! You will see his name mentioned in this post and several to follow, I am most sure. We were also his first HMR class. He had been a trainer for several years, but we were his first HMR class. God love Brandon! He will never know the true gift he has been to so many people. I can only hope that he can feel the love we all have for him. He has literally saved our lives. But I digress … the first meeting. We weighed in, of course. The dreaded scale, my nemesis, my fear, my enemy, and the one thing I still fight with!! But after weigh-in, Brandon conducted our meeting, and we quickly saw that we were not just learning about the Phase 1 of the HMR Diet Plan, but he was offering us so much good advice about health, nutrients, sleep, exercise, and oh yes, the BALANCE of the importance of all of it. Our class was about an hour or a little longer, but the time flew by. Now came the challenge of following the plan for the next week, so we could face the scale again! Phase 1 of the HMR Diet Plan is extremely regimented. It is a no-brainer, very easy to follow. It is designed to help you lose the most weight possible in that first 13 weeks. This not only serves the purpose of losing weight, but it also is a great motivator. When you see results, you naturally want to continue. Then after the first 13 weeks you move into Phase 2, which is gradually putting “normal” foods back into your system, but in a healthy, planned, and controlled manner. Living in the real world but in a healthy way. Tons of fruits and vegetables, lean protein, whole grain, and healthy fats. Again that word … BALANCE!!
For the first 13 weeks (and even for a bit afterwards) I wore the same ugly blue dress. I wanted to make sure that when I weighed that my clothing did not affect the results on the scale. At the end of this post, I will share the picture. I eventually quit wearing that dress, and Brandon had the pleasure of ripping it to shreds. I still have that dress. It is my trophy!!
So this is the beginning of my journey. From April 7, 2014 to December 29, 2014 I lost 70 pounds!!!! I lost 30 pounds in Phase 1, which truly was a motivator to continue onward. I lost the next 40 pounds in Phase 2, and I am down another 5 to 7 pounds (depending on whether the scale is being a brat or not.) It would be wonderful to hit the magic 80 pounds of loss, but at this point, it is a number in my head. I am a healthy, active, in fact more active person, than I have been since my high school years. And believe me, high school is a long way in my past. I am 16 months old in my healthy birthday calculation, and 62 years old in my “normal” birthday!!! When I look at my years in this stage of my life, one of my biggest regrets of my years of obesity, are truly the years that I lost being unhealthy. Until I returned to a healthy state, I couldn’t fully comprehend what I was missing. But it is clear, oh so clear now! But, I elect not to dwell on the past and feel sorry for those days, but embrace my future and live it! Sometimes we have to weather a storm before we can enjoy the sunshine.
I’ll continue to share my journey in future posts. There is so much more to tell!! We’ve only just begun. The excitement of exercise is next!!! And believe me, it’s not always a pretty sight. In fact, it rarely if ever is!!! But, I can assure you, it is always most entertaining.
But in keeping with my outlook on life., all things are only possible through our faith and our God. God truly put me in the right place, at the right time, with the right folks. This journey has never been one step at a time by me the whole way. It has always been one step at a time with much support from many. And, of course, with God as my pilot!
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