Power and Determination ...

Often times when I write and create my blog posts, I know my topic, know what I want to say, and can sit down and relatively quickly put words to paper.   Other times, I may have an idea, but am not sure just exactly what I want to say, so it takes me longer to develop my post, and have it ready for publication.

This time is quite different.  This topic I know intimately, I know my thoughts, I certainly know my content, but it is a topic that I am so intensely passionate about, that I can hardly find the words to convey my thoughts.  My heart needs to bleed words to give this the justice so rightly deserved. 

For a little background, on April 7, 2014 I started my wellness journey with the HMR program at Baptist Health Milestone Wellness Center in Louisville, KY. By December 29, 2014 I had lost 70 pounds!!!  This was amazing and overwhelming to me.   But as proud as I am of that loss, I am even prouder to say that today, December 29, 2016 marks a two year anniversary of maintaining my 70+ pound weight loss.   Some days it is 73, others 70, others 71 … depends on if the scale is being a brat when I weigh.  But all joking aside, I am one blessed girl!!! 

Last year, on this anniversary date,  I shared numbers and what they meant.   I’m not even going to enter the numbers for my lean proteins, fruits, veggies, whole grains, HMR shakes, HMR entrees, and physical activity calories, as I did last year.  Trust me,  they would almost mirror the same numbers this year as last year.   No this time, I want to try to convey the overwhelming feeling of the word that is almost the hardest with any of us on a wellness journey …  Maintenance!!!

 

April 7, 2014                        Weight 199.5

December 29, 2014         Weight 129.5     

So here we are at another December 29 … December 29, 2016

WEIGHT --- 128.25

Yes, I have made it another year, with maintaining within my 5 pound range for my maintenance weight.  You might ask about the 5 pound range.  Due to how our bodies work, on any given night of weigh-in, my weight could be down 3 pounds, up 3 pounds, or anywhere in between.  This was a hard lesson for me to understand and more importantly for me to embrace.  I had this “magic” number in my head that I thought I wanted to weigh, and thought I should weigh.   I have learned, and sometimes painfully, that our bodies dictate to us our maintenance weight.   Does that mean that because you want to eat certain foods in excess, not exercise or move your body in a healthy manner, or want to be content with a weight that is not healthy for you, that you can say, “oh, it’s what my body wants to do?”  Absolutely not!  What it does mean, is that if you are living a healthy lifestyle, eating a balanced diet of lean proteins, whole grains, vegetables, and fruits, have a solid exercise program, and if you have lost weight down to a healthy weight;  that just because you “want” to weigh a certain number, it does not mean that your body will continue to lose weight to get to that number.   This is hard!  This is very hard!!!   I always wanted 5 pounds to “play with.”   That meant that I wanted to weigh about 5 pounds less than I really wanted to weigh, so that I could cheat at times, and not have to worry about that 1 to 3 pound weight gain that might accompany said cheat!   Well, guess what?   My body refuses to do it.   I eat basically the same combination of foods that I ate for a period of a year, as I was losing my 70+ pounds.  I exercise the same as I did during that year’s  period, and often even more vigorously and with heavier weight, but the scale will not budge.  My body has said, and has said loudly and clearly that it is happy!!!  It is happy, healthy, and perfectly content!!     And so am I.  So am I!!!!!!   I am overwhelmingly happy, healthy, and content!!!

On my recent physical check-up, my lab work was perfectly normal.   My numbers look better than they have looked in years.   I have completely stopped my blood pressure medicine, and I have been able to reduce my cholesterol medication by one-half.  This would be completely discontinued as well, but I have heredity issues with hypercholesterolemia, and we all know we cannot out-run heredity!

I had a bit of a set-back early in 2016, when I took a clumsy fall, and dislocated my shoulder, broke my humerus, and shattered the bones around the entire area.  I had major surgery on my right shoulder.   I am proud to say that during this surgery and recovery, I maintained  my weight precisely!  My exercise habits were adjusted greatly, due to physical limitations, but I barely missed a day in the gym.  I worked with my trainer, and we modified my work-out to accommodate my limitations.  I was in physical therapy for over 5 months.  My orthopedic surgeon has told me many, many times that my recovery has been so far above the bar, that he is truly amazed.  He said that anyone else with that injury would have ended up with a shoulder replacement.  I truly believe my recovery was due to my total body health that I enjoy, and the fact that I had strengthened my body physically, before my injury, with the correct exercise program.

My goal for 2016 was to actually run a 5K.  I am a vigorous walker, but am, admittedly,  a terrible runner.   On October 15,  I RAN my 5K.  It was a not a record time, but I RAN a 5K!!!!!!

Being a smaller size, and being able to wear different styles of clothes is so much fun!  However, our health educator always likes to ask us to share with him our “non-scale related victories.”   I want to convey in this post, the importance of those “non-scale related victories.”   I’m not diminishing the scale, and how it feels to see the numbers decrease on the scale.  But, one of the most important things I have learned, through this process, is that it is just so much more than the scale.  The scale is but a small part of a wellness journey.  

Brandon Howard has been my health coach, personal trainer, and friend throughout this journey.  I am forever grateful for his leadership, knowledge, compassion, and PATIENCE.   He has a God given gift for his life work, and I am so lucky to have crossed paths.   I have enjoyed the Don’t Sit Get Fit program with Eugene Dean for the past 2+ years.  He is awesome,  and his workouts are difficult, but always fun.  I have met innumerable friends, that I didn’t even know before this journey, who are  now kindred souls with me.  Debra Clover and Kay Snyder have been on the same journey with me since day 1, and we still march on together.  I love them!!!!!  Baptist Milestone is an awesome facility with awesome staff.  It is not just a gym … it is a wellness center.  I enjoy many Fitbit challenges with some of the trainers, and we always have smiles and laughter to share when we cross paths at the gym.  So you see, my “non-scale related victories” come in the form of human souls, friendships, support, laughter, tears, lifelong friends to walk a path with me.   All of this coupled with a body that feels great, health that is enjoyed, and body movement that I didn’t know I could do … WOW … MAINTENANCE!!!

Today I attach to this post, not a picture of how I looked before, and how I look now … yes, that is important.  But, today I post a picture taken on December 14, 2016.  It is a picture showing me doing squats with a 115 pound barbell!!!!   My security net, Brandon, is right behind me, always coaching, protecting, and I think ready to catch me!!   So just remember … you are never too big, you are never too small, and most importantly you are never too old!!!!!     It is amazing what the body can do when it is healthy!!! 

Brandon wrote these words to me recently in a card, “You have somehow managed to pack the power and determination of a 10ft. giant into a  4’9 petite redhead.”    And he added, “The best part is that there is so much more we can accomplish.”  Oh, my!   That, folks, is the WIN!!!!!!!!  That, folks, is glorious MAINTENANCE!!!   I say it all of the time, and I’ll say it again once more … Brandon and this program helped save my life.  Of that,  I have no doubt.     

God truly put me in the right place, at the right time, with the right people.  Blessed!!!

 

Boldly Honorable ...

It seems that when this time of year comes around, our hearts become a bit more melancholy.  Is it the change in the weather, the falling leaves, the colors that pop in nature?   Perhaps it is the bustle of the holiday season, the smiles of contentment when the “perfect” gift is found,   and, most definitely the laughter of the children in the anticipation of their holiday morning.  Regardless of the reason, I would feel safe in assuming that all of us have had at least one moment, and probably many moments of melancholy.

What do we do with these feelings?   Over the past few weeks, I have moved from feeling completely exhilarated to feelings of true sadness.   It is an odd combination, and quite frankly hard to explain.   I find that reading a few pages of a good book, or the opportunity to sit and listen to some soothing music, can turn my feelings around quite quickly.   I’m starting to feel that this is the Lord’s way of reaching out to me to challenge me to reassess, ponder, and even more importantly take action in different ways.   It’s discerning those ways of action that may be the true test.

I don’t think it is any surprise that this recent political season, both before and continuing after the election, has touched all of us in many different ways.  It has been divisive to say the least, and it has left many of us feeling saddened.   My depth of sadness is really not in the political issues at all.  This time, I could care less about health care reform, the economic policy, or our foreign policy.  My discontent and sadness is truly only in the hatred that has been embraced and endorsed.  I keep searching my soul for this, and I have been unable to find peace on that front.   My prayer is that this has shed a huge spotlight on the hatred that is prevalent, and perhaps this will challenge all of us to work to resolve these issues, or at minimum at least acknowledge them.   I have always seen the world through rose colored glasses, but my eyes have been opened widely, and it truly makes my heart hurt.

God calls all of us to live boldly!   Does boldly mean to be willing to jump out of an airplane, or dive to the depth of the oceans?  It could.   But, I’d rather view living boldly to mean things quite differently.  Living boldly could mean to fully embrace our current moment.  Sleep boldly, work boldly, laugh boldly, cry boldly, play boldly, and most definitely pray boldly.   Each moment in our life is such a special gift.  Why would we not want to live every moment boldly?     Just exist boldly!!   The hummingbird may be our perfect example.   Even though they are tiny and delicate, they are deceptively strong.  God does call all of us to live boldly!

We all have mentors in our lives. Those people that encourage, inspire, teach, and nurture us.   Some of our mentors may be in loved ones that are no longer with us.   The grief of having lost these loved ones can be paralyzing at times, and even though they may have been gone for a long time, any given moment can be as raw as the first moment we lost them.   But just as the incoming tide wipes smooth the sand for fresh footprints, our memories also become more vivid when our hearts are able to smooth the grief in our hearts. I love this quote by novelist and philosopher, Fyodor Dostoyevsky, “ It’s the great mystery of human life that old grief passes gradually into quiet tender joy.”    Quiet tender joy, living boldly!

In this time of melancholy, let’s listen for our message.  If we are called to action for social justice, let’s embrace it.  If we are challenged with feelings that we don’t understand, let’s learn from those feelings, and channel our responses in a positive manner.   Volunteer at a soup kitchen, tutor a child, sit with an elder, help someone that doesn’t know our language to understand it better, and be excited in learning some of their language as well.    Let’s listen to our hearts, when all of a sudden, out of nowhere, we remember something a loved one may have said to us in the past.  Especially those times when it was a teaching moment.   If we really stop and ponder, I bet we will acknowledge that most of our times spent with our loved ones were truly teaching moments.    

I read somewhere the following words … I love them, and I wish I had written them … but I share now, “New grows atop the old.  Maybe not smoothly but most certainly.”    There is nothing wrong with new.  Our intention, our bold intention, should be to make sure that the new that grows is good and honorable.  

God does call us all to live boldly and with honor!

The Pleading of Our Wildlife

Come Walk My Path With Me …

Feel the night air brush across your face as the day settles and the moon glows brightly.

The path is lit by this moonlight, and God directs my every step.

Will there be food available around the bend or a warm place to rest my head?

 

Come Walk My Path With Me …

The nature I live within is magnificent. The earth is firm and the

grass is plush.  We walk in harmony one and all.

Will man allow this to survive?

 

Come Walk My Path With Me …

Feel the warmth of the sun as it rises over the mountain tops.

How lucky I am to inhabit this planet.  I had no control

over my chosen home.

God smiled upon me as He placed me in this existence.

Will man allow this to survive?

 

Come Walk My Path With Me …

Here the cry of the eagles and the wings of the doves.

The stars are there to be embraced.

Have you the courage to soar high enough?

 

Come Walk My Path With Me …

You will understand the beauty and the need for our land.

You will learn that god’s creations have a special balance which

needs to be nurtured and caressed.

 

Come Walk My Path With Me …

We can all survive together

 

Come Walk My Path With Me …

 

The Trap ... Unhealthy Trying to Be Healthy

For anyone who has been on a weight loss journey, it is not surprising to hear that the road is terrifying.  It contains mountains to surpass, potholes to dig ourselves out of, curves that throw of us off track, and straightaways that can loll us into wrong thinking and false security.  And, we occasionally reach that valley of relaxation and accomplishment.  While we can celebrate our accomplishment, and indeed we should, we can’t stay in the valley of relaxation and get too comfortable.   We need to forever be diligent in our thinking and our actions.   It is indeed a lifelong  journey!

When first starting my journey, I must say that it truly felt and worked quite seamlessly and easily.  I was on a very structured plan… a  plan that I did not need to really “think” about.  It was outlined specifically for me, and all I had to do was muster up my resolve to stay the course.   I thought obtaining that resolve would be the hardest part, but in reality, it turned out to be the easiest part of my journey.  My resolve came quickly, as I saw the pounds melt away on a weekly basis.  I believe I lost 5 pounds the first week, and subsequent  weeks lost between 1 to 3 pounds weekly.  The key word is “lost.”   As long as I lost weekly, my resolve was good to go!!!!  That’s why the resolve was the easiest part.

As with every journey, you cannot stay in one place forever;   as it is with my diet plan.  At this point, I will not refer again to my “diet plan.”  I actually early in this journey stopped using the word “diet.”  If I learned anything early on, it is that it is so much more than a “diet.”  It is a “wellness” journey.  My wellness journey!  Not staying in one place forever,  I soon found was the hardest and most challenging part of this process.

Since I had had great success with my Phase 1 journey, I was so reluctant to move to Phase 2 of my journey.  Phase  1 was so very structured, no “thinking” on my part, just “doing.”  Now I found myself in the first curve of the road;   the curve of trying to ease my way into Phase 2.  This phase required me to  branch out a bit, and to start introducing certain food groups back into a healthy balance.   This was so scary, since I saw a lot of those foods as the very ones that caused issues with me in the past.  What I had to learn was that it wasn’t the food group that was the issue …  it was the volume and the balance of that food group.   One of my favorite stories with regard to balance and what I could and could not eat,  was when I asked my health educator if I could have garbanzo beans on my salad.  His reply, “Sharon, it was not the garbanzo beans that brought you to me in the first place.”   How true!!!   That is now my mantra when deciding about a food group, the amount of said food group, and the balance it has in my overall diet, “It was not the garbanzo beans…”

If I have learned anything through this journey, I would have to say the biggest revelation is the uniqueness of the human body.  What it does and doesn’t do is mind boggling.   All of our lives we have been taught and told to eat less and exercise more.  I’d like someone to name one, just one “diet plan” or “weight loss program” that in most of the literature, that doesn’t  first tell you the “miracle” of their product or program, and then the disclaimer will read something to the effect of “exercise needed to compliment the program.”   I particularly love the belly fat ads about taking a pill that will reduce belly fat, and their comment during the commercial, that “if your belly fat decrease is too drastic, to only take one of the pills daily.”  Well, sign me up!!!  I only need to swallow two and maybe just one pill, and my belly fat will just melt away.   If you believe that one, I’ve got a nice piece of swamp land in South Carolina that I’d like to sell you!!!!  

The body doesn’t respond to pills, wraps, 20 day exercise fads … it responds to a daily dose of healthy, balanced eating, coupled with healthy cardio and weight training, good sleep habits, and reduction and management of daily stress.   Oh, it will respond to pills, wraps, fads, initially;  but it cannot sustain a healthy level without a balanced healthy lifestyle.   But, the key to this healthy lifestyle is to realize that even when doing everything correctly, food, exercise, sleep, the body will still at different times show the agony of a “gain” on the scale.  I call this the scale being a brat!!!!!!  

This leads me to the highest mountain on my journey.  I am a scalephobe.   I believe the technical term, at least per Google, is gravitaphobia.   It has tempered a great deal, but I look forward to when this is resolved  once and for all.   My lifestyle is extremely healthy now, with what I believe, is a fairly balanced eating style and exercise habits.  But even with these habits, the scale on a weekly basis goes down 2 pounds, up 1.5, down .75, up 2.   It is a roller coaster!!   With what appears to be no rhyme or reason! I do know that stress, lack of sleep, hormone changes can all make the scale do different things.  Recently while on vacation in Saratoga Springs, NY, I got up each morning at 7:00 a.m. to get on the treadmill, I ate lean proteins, whole grains, fruits, vegetables, my protein shakes.  I had one Bloody Mary and 10, yes I counted them, 10 pretzel crisps!   It is a picnic area, full of vendors with specialty foods.   So  many folks picnicking around me ate junk for 5 solid days and consumed liquor quite happily.   Was the scale a brat upon my return?  Of course, it was.  Gained 1.5 pounds!!!!!   My first thought was that I should have eaten and drank like everyone else picnicking at Saratoga Race Course. But then I thought, no the scale would have been a bigger brat, and I probably would have gained 3 pounds!!!  So, I allowed myself to be disappointed for that one evening, the entire time telling myself, that I did everything I was supposed to do, I couldn’t have done any better, so no need to beat myself up. The scale will do what the scale wants to do.  All I need to do is stay focused on eating healthy, exercising appropriately, sleeping well, and managing my stress.  Everything else will fall into place.

I titled this, “The Trap … Unhealthy Trying To Be Healthy.”   This title comes naturally to me, because I can say this was my lifestyle for the first several months into Phase 2.  Since I had been told for most of my years to “eat less, exercise more” I found that what I usually did as a solution to the scale being a brat, was to adjust my food intake, calorie intake, and to exercise even more!   When I first started into Phase 2 and added whole grains back into my diet, the scale would go up a bit.  I immediately thought “those dreaded carbs.”  So I would take them out of my food plan, and of course, the scale would go back down.   I would stay there a week or two, and then add them back in … the scale would inch back up … out they would go again.  My health educator preached, and a bit harshly at times, that the body has to get used to what you are using to fuel it.   Until it gets used to what  you are introducing back into it, the scale will show a reaction of a plus or a minus.  How many times did he say to “stay the course?”   Too many for me to count, and so many that I led him to complete frustration with me.   I was eating the incorrect balance of lean proteins, whole grains, veggies and fruits.  My fruits and veggies were astounding at 10 to 12 servings per day, along with two lean proteins.  But I often had no healthy whole grain carbs in my diet, and while they weren’t in my diet, I was exercising in great intensity 5 to 6 days per week.  I was not fueling my body.  I was the picture of being Unhealthy Trying To Be Healthy!!!!    

Thankfully and blessedly, my health educator refused to give up on me.  We worked together to formulate a healthy plan.  It was not just about eating the correct balance, but in my case it was even more of the head game to get my mind where it needed to be with the scale, and its associated ups and downs.   My mountain to climb.  I would say that I’m about three-fourths the way to the peak now.   I am staying the course, and I’m talking to myself daily about remaining  calm about the journey.   My reaction to the latest scale “brattiness”  after vacation validated my improvement.

For a “wellness program”, my wellness program, I know that it is forever.  It is not a destination, it is a journey.  It is never over, it is for always and forever.  There is a not a before and after, but a before and always!   I wake up every morning, and I know that I need to make the same commitment for the new day that I have made for the days before.  Each day is a new commitment to a healthy day.  Our health educator uses the term “eating with intention.”  That makes so much sense.  We don’t eat for flavor, for fun, for social activity. We eat to fuel our bodies. These beautiful God given bodies.  These temples given to us to preserve and treat with respect.   My wellness program. 

For anyone that can’t understand these journeys, I would pray for their empathy for those of us embarking and well on our way.   It is riddled with obstacles, but the accomplishment at the end is indescribable with joy and gratitude for a healthy body, mind, and soul.  

I close with this Max Lucado quote, “God never said that the journey would be easy. But he did say that the arrival would be worthwhile.”

The Patriarch of Our Family ...

To capture Tom Horn’s life in a few minutes is really quite an impossibility.  THIS is his legacy. This is what Tom would want as his legacy. This is what is making Tom smile today.  His family and his friends of his most magnificent lifetime.

Tom was a very social active individual. He thrived on being with people, interacting with people, and laughing with people.  He truly LIVED every moment of EVERY day of his life.  He maintained friendships from childhood, through  his career, and certainly through his retirement.  EVERYONE knew Tom  Horn.  I don’t think there was ever a time myself or any of his friends or family invited him to an event, that his standard reply wasn’t, “I’m Available.”  But his “available” meant so much more though.  You didn’t just get Tom as a “polite, I need to make an appearance type” available. You got the essence of his heart and his soul. With soul being the keyword. Tom lived his life and honored his faith through every pore of  his body.  I have often heard it stated, that it is a person’s actions not words that define their legacy. This was the epitome of our Tom.

My cousin, Jimmy, and I had the blessing of going to Ireland with Tom in October of 2014.  It truly was an experience of a lifetime. We were able to find his grandparents and our great-grandparents home they emigrated from. I have a picture of the three of us together in front of that stone structure. What a blessing!  When we were coming through customs, as we were leaving Ireland, I had Tom’s passport and declaration card with me. The counter was high, and Tom was using a wheelchair (which he rarely would do, but agreed to in the airport because of the distance in walking.)  His wheelchair was low, and down from the counter. The custom’s clerk saw the birthdate of 1/22/12 on his passport. She looked at me and said, “oh, you’re traveling with a two-year-old.”  I said, “no, I’m traveling with a 102-year-old.” She had the same reaction as everyone did.  “Oh my Mr. Horn, you don’t look 102!”  She must have shared our story with our flight attendant, because as the attendant was going through the cabin checking seatbelts, etc. she leaned down and whispering asked me if Tom would mind if she announced his age on the plane. I told her not at all, that he would love it!  After all the safety checks, she then stated, “we have a very important person on board with us today. Mr. Horn in seat 29A will be 103 years old in January.”  Everyone clapped, and I do believe that everyone on the plane at some time, during that 7 hour flight, stopped by to shake his hand or ask him a question. But one question resonates with me still. He was asked what was his secret to such a ripe age?  His answer, “I’ve had good family and friends, good health, and a good church.” That was Tom Horn.  His family, his friends, his health, and mainly his church!!!

I have been identified by several different adjectives and descriptions through my life, but the one that makes me the proudest is when someone will say to me, “Oh, you are Tom Horn’s niece.”  Yes, I most definitely am Tom Horn’s niece. We are his nieces, his nephews, Betty Ann, Mike, Jimmy, Patricia, Sharon, Suzanne, Ruth Marie, Kara and his great nieces and nephews, Lea Ann, Jimmy, Kevin, Pam, Carrie, Angela, Whitney, John Michael, Maritsa, Debbie, Cindy, Beth, Brent, Pam, Donnie, David Michael, and his great great nieces and nephews.  Jerri and her children Eric, Amy, and Bonita, whom he considered his daughter and grandchildren.  We are his family! We are his friends! We are his church!  We are his legacy.  And he is oh so proud of that.

I have a calendar on my desk of quotes from St. Mother Theodore Guerin, the founder of the Sisters of Providence.  When I flipped my calendar over, when I returned to work on Monday, the quote from January 3, the date Tom went home, stated:

“The greatest in heaven is the one who on Earth has been the servant of all.”  How fitting, how wonderfully fitting!

This world is a better place because for 103 years and 346 days, Tom Horn walked amongst us. There will never be another. While we are heart broken to lose the patriarch of our family, our beloved uncle, our beloved friend, we need only shut our eyes and open our ears and our hearts.  I’m sure we will hear the resounding trumpets that most definitely played when he arrived home!  Rest peacefully, Tom.   You were, you are, and you will always be greatly, greatly loved!   And, yes, Tom, in your spectacular honor, we will always be AVAILABLE!!