Lent

I love Lent!  Every year I am excited about entering into the portion of the liturgical year that encourages me to pray, reconnect in my faith, look towards the needs of others, and just feel closer to God.  I usually take a moment a few days before Lent to ponder what my Lenten activities will consist of.  I'm not one to just think it is about "giving up" things, but rather just importantly about "doing things."  I fervently believe in the scripture reading that tells us that we shouldn't boast about our Lenten penance, our fasting, or even share our Lenten activities with others.  So, to this end, I will not go into detail.  I will say that it involves setting more time daily for prayer, and doing some things that I know I should do, but don't take time out of the day to accomplish. 

I usually attend all the different services during Lent, of course, beginning with Ash Wednesday. This year, my schedule has changed drastically with a career move I made about 8 months ago.  I've just been out of sync with getting all my schedules aligned appropriately.  Ash Wednesday fell prey to this dilemma.  I couldn't attend a noon service, I was in a meeting.  I couldn't (no let's be honest) I chose not to go to the 5:30 p.m. service, because I would have had to cancel a 6:30 p.m. appointment.  So, I searched the web, and I found a church that was having service at 7:00 p.m., just down the street from my 6:30 p.m. appointment. Perfect!  Except I forgot that there would be a lot of folks choosing this time frame. I arrived about 7:05 p.m. and there was nowhere, I mean nowhere to park.  I drove in circles around the perimeter of the church and adjoining property. There was nowhere to park.  Even the sidewalks were already full.   I was tired, frustrated, and I decided I would just skip the service and pray in private.  I decided to place an order for a fish dinner at a local fish restaurant, and just go on home.  On my way to pick up the fish dinner, I passed another church, in a neighboring town, that must have been having 7:30 p.m. services. There were droves of people going in the front doors ... and parking spaces!  But, now I had already ordered dinner and it was awaiting my pick-up in just 5 minutes.  Again, I chose to just pick up dinner and go home.   I actually felt jealous of the people entering church.  This decision has haunted me.  Ash Wednesday.  One of the most solemn days in our church calendar, and I didn't make room on my calendar.

I have a St. Mother Theodore Guerin perpetual calendar on my desk at work. A few days after Ash Wednesday, her quote of the day stated that one shouldn't dwell over the sin they have committed. Rather acknowledge it, own it, talk to our God, but then move on with confidence and strength.   Otherwise, it is just too easy to commit the same mistake.  This has been hard for me, as I feel so negligent about my actions of Ash Wednesday.  But, I know God teaches me something about everything I do in my life, and He loves me unconditionally.  He has forgiven me, so I need to as well.

During this most holy of seasons, I'll offer my prayers earnestly and honestly with all the warts and weeds of my life.  I know God hears me, and this gives me the confidence to go forward in His strength.  These next few weeks lead to the joy of His ressurection.  I am so blessed to be a participant.

Birds Or Chicks?

My sister and I share a birthday month.  Actually our father also shared the same month.  Daddy’s birthday, February 2, mine February 9, and my sister, the Valentine baby, February 14.  Daddy used to say I was his birthday present a week late, and my sister was his little Valentine.

Mother and Daddy have since left us, and for many years my sister lived out-of-town, so for quite a long time, we were only able to celebrate via cards and phone calls.  My sister has now returned to the area, so for the past three years, we have celebrated together with dinner.  Since her special day is on Valentine’s Day, we never celebrate that night. The restaurants are filled to capacity, and overflowing, with all the lovers, or at least those trying to be lovers, fulfilling the obligation of February 14.  So to this end, we usually choose a date between our birthdays for our dinner outing.

This year, we chose Sunday, February 12.  We went to a restaurant I had never been to before, Bonefish Grill.  My sister and brother-in-law had been there several times and vouched for its quality. And, we even had a coupon for a free appetizer  sent through the Internet to my sister for her birthday. We ordered our appetizer, some wine, and picked out our entrees.  Normal evening thus far.

I guess you know you are aging when the conversation turns to dental issues and upcoming procedures. I had conveyed the story that I had a fracture in my back, bottom tooth, on the right.  “Rah thar.”  Oh, I have my mouth open, finger in it, pointing to the tooth.  You’re reading this and can’t see me.  Number 31 in dental lingo!  My sister said she had a fracture in the same tooth, but she was not ready to undergo the expense of a crown.  I told her that not only was I going to need the crown, but probably a root canal to boot.

Our appetizer arrived to the table, and I placed my napkin in my lap.  I had on slacks that were made from that slippery fabric.  I’m sure a Project Runway contestant could quickly name the fabric. Not me!  All I know was it was slick, and my  napkin immediately slid to the floor, under the booth.   The napkin was black, it was dark under the booth, and I couldn’t see it. I would have had to lay down completely flat, risk rolling off the bench under the table, to retrieve the napkin. My sister said, “Just ask for another.”  This turned out later to be good advice, but my brother-in-law said he could see it and was able to pick it up for me.  I informed everyone that I would just tuck it in my waist band to prevent the chance of the “napkin slide” again.

About that time, our dinner arrived. We had all ordered fish, and we had actually discussed the type of fish and the likelihood of encountering a bone. I know if I get a bone, I’m done.  I ordered Imperial King Wolf fish, my brother-in-law the trout, and my sister salmon.  My sister took one bite of her rice and pulled something out of her mouth. I thought to myself, “Good grief, she has already gotten a bone.” Then I noticed it was a little round hard thing that looked like a caper. She laid it to the side of her plate and continued to eat. In just a moment, she said, “Well, I have broken my tooth.”  On rice??!!??  Something tells me she may have waited just a bit too long on that crown. Who breaks their tooth on a piece of rice?

We finished our entrees, my sister left her piece of tooth tucked under a little leftover rice and sauce, and we ordered and ate a decadent flourless brownie with raspberry sauce, whipped cream, and ice cream. We shared our presents, paid our bills, and left the restaurant. We hugged in the parking lot, went to our respective cars, and drove home.

After arriving at home, I took my coat off.  My coat was a bright red, top of the hip jacket.  I had black slacks on. As I bent down to greet my little dog, my hand became entangled in fabric. “What the heck?” Then I realized what I had done. I had worn the napkin home!  It hadn’t slid anymore. It had even stayed put with me walking out of the restaurant, driving home, walking into the house, and picking up my dog. I literally had to yank it out of my waist band.  I guess I can only be happy the napkin police didn’t drop me in the parking lot.  The kicker is I now only have one black napkin.  I wish my sister would have wrapped up her tooth in another napkin.  I would at least have a pair, and she just might have gotten a surprise from the tooth fairy.

Appetizer – free

Wine -- $6.00

Dinner -- $35.00

Evening with two old birds (make that groovy chicks) – PRICELESS!!

The Fifth Decade

I am embarking on my last year of the 50’s.  Yes, the end of the fifth decade. There are several things that come to mind:

• I’m celebrating the 20^th year of my 39^th birthday.
• Or even better, the 30th year of my 29^th birthday.
• I now realize that when I “mourned” my 30^th birthday, I didn’t realize just how young I really was.
• When the big 40 came, I actually felt younger than when I had “celebrated” my 30^th.  Somehow 40 actually didn’t have the same impact as 30!
• Then, of the course, the HUGE 50 came.  I think I had parties of all sorts, and with all different groups of people, for the entire month of February. They extended from Indiana to Florida.  The Midwest to Southern States was put on alert that I was 50.
• Now I have one more year, before the celebration of 60 commences.

But, call it maturity, or just plain old age, this is what truly comes to mind:

• God has graced me with 59 glorious years.
• I have been able to marvel His creation through the eyes of an infant, a toddler, a child, a teenager, a young adult, an adult, and yes, now almost a senior.
• As an “almost” senior, I have the peace of understanding so many things, so much more, and the worries and the stresses have become less and less with growing just a bit older.
• I have enjoyed watching my niece blossom from a precious infant to a beautiful young woman.
• I have been blessed with lifelong friends.  Friends that have been a part of me since we were just barely teenagers. We’ve celebrated graduations together, marriages, children, in some cases divorces, and we’ve been with each other when we’ve buried our parents. There is no price that can be put on this. It is the most precious of gifts.

So, as I turn 59, I won’t be sulking. I won’t be lying about my age.  I will proudly step up and say, “I’m 59 years blessed!”  I receive yet another day to say to my God every morning, “What can I do today to make, those I come in contact with, feel just a bit better?”  I get another opportunity to try again to get it right.  Happy Birthday!

Fall In The Arms of God

“Fall in the arms of God”… a beautiful lyric in one of the songs our choir sings by the name of “Come Rest In The Arms of God.”

This line, this brief phrase, “Fall in the arms of God” speaks to me in a most powerful yet gentle way. Can you imagine, can you even imagine truly falling into the arms of God?  I know I may feel this way when I pray and I need His strength.  I know I spiritually feel safe in His arms, but I am truly thinking about the human connection, the literal I really know and completely understand.  “Fall in the arms of God.”

Blessed Mother Theodore Guerin, founder of the Sisters of Providence, is quoted, “What will Heaven be if our poor earth is at times so beautiful?”

This writing is dedicated to a dear friend. She has been fighting cancer for five years. During this time, she has approached her illness with bravery, humor, and a faithfulness unparalleled. She has taught all of us how to live with cancer, and how to accept what God sends our way.   She has now stopped all treatment and is in Hospice care.  She recently sent all of us, her choir friends, a note.  In it she says, “I don’t know what is going to happen, when, or how long it will take.  I feel good today, and I will just take it day by day.”   What strength!

I envision her crossing through the door of Heaven and falling into the arms of God. What beauty must await her and all of us, His faithful.