I guess it is normal that
sometimes it takes years to put words to paper and then others times they flow
like Niagara Falls. I’m suspicious it
is all related to the content, the depth of the words, and simply the right
timing to capture the thoughts.
This is a journey that starts at
age seventeen. Christmas season of age
seventeen. It’s funny how certain dates
are molded into your heart and mind, while other dates get erased before they
can even become a memory.
A few weeks before the holidays,
this 17-year-old girl found herself pulling into the Clark Gas Station to get
her oil checked. Were there issues with
the car? Of course not! There happened to be a 17-year-old, quite
handsome, young man that worked at said gas station. What better way for a young lady to meet
someone than to feign possible car trouble?
It was perfectly logical. Handsome young man checked the oil, and not
surprisingly, found absolutely nothing wrong.
But hopefully it was an ice breaker.
However, after a few weeks when there was no change in action, it seemed
all was in vain.
The week between Christmas and
New Year’s, the young lady excitingly joined other friends from her high school
and headed to New York City with a theatre group from another local high
school. Her first time away from home
without her parents! And, to New York
City! Handsome young man was not even
thought about. Oh, the fickleness of a
17-year-old!
Upon returning to the airport
from the New York trip, the family was waiting at the gate. Yes, this is back before all the security
issues at the airports when friends and family could actually come directly to
the gate, and when you walked off the plane, you could see loved ones smiling
and awaiting your return. Mother,
father, sister waiting at the gate … and best friend, best friend’s boyfriend,
and handsome young man! Now that was a
happy surprise.
For the next four years, handsome
young man and young lady were inseparable. To say that this union changed the
course of both of their lives would be an understatement. Planning their life together, the children they
would have, the careers they would choose were normal conversations. Never, never in the conversations was there
any discussion of IF they would marry, it was only WHEN they would marry. Months turned to years, and years turned into
changes as each of them matured.
There seems to be more changes in
people from their teen years into their early adulthood years, or so it seemed
with handsome young man and young lady.
What was once clear anticipation of a life together, became a question
each day, and for some reason, unknown to this day, a drawing apart of their
hearts and minds. When handsome young man stated one evening
that he thought he would “go out to California for a while and just hang out”, young lady decided it was time for a
break. Handsome young man would never
have suggested this split, but his actions progressed in a manner that forced
young lady to make that suggestion and decision. Funny
how this decision making reared its ugly head many years later as mature
adults.
Handsome young man met another
lady, shortly after split and probably during if truth were known, and married
very quickly. He moved on with his life
with his wife and two daughters, and young lady moved on with her life,
friends, career, but no husband, no children.
Young lady acknowledges the feelings she knew she had before with
handsome young man, and quite honestly never felt that same puttering with
anyone else that came into her life. Not
that there were very many at all that came into her life.
When young lady’s father passed
away, handsome young man walked into the funeral home. Their visit time seeing
each other in over 12 years. His
comment, “I had to come. That man
offered to put me through college.” Young
lady never knew her father and handsome young man had these discussions. She did know her father often said, “if I had
to hand pick a son, I couldn’t pick one any finer.” Cordial condolences followed, and handsome
young man left the funeral home.
At age forty, handsome young man
contacts young lady. There is a
discussion of a potential medical issue with handsome young man, and young lady
works in health care. He pays a visit
to the physician she works with, and then chooses to wait in the reception room
all afternoon, so he and young lady can have dinner together when her work
shift is complete.
Handsome young man relays the
message that he and his wife are separated and getting a divorce. Young lady responds that she is sorry to hear
that they are going through this, and his reply, “that’s OK. Marriage is not a bad thing, I just married
the wrong person many years ago.” Then
when dinner is over, handsome young man states that he has to have a hug.
For the next several years,
handsome young man randomly pops up on young lady’s door. Always when there is
something “going on” in each other’s lives.
It is uncanny how it is almost intuitive of needing to share a thought,
an event, a need.
Then at age 60 or so, handsome
young man and young lady start the new technology of texting. Handsome young man sends young lady beautiful
and tender texts. Texts of memories, texts of kind thoughts, sweet compliments.
First text in the morning at 5:30 a.m. wishing her a sweet day, texts at the
end of the day wishing her a restful night.
Young lady asks him for dinner, for walks, but he is ever so busy with
his grandchildren and children. Seems
there are a lot of issues with family needs, and he is the glue to his
family. Young lady is warmed by this, as
she remembers since age seventeen, his tenderness and care for others. He would often put his time on hold while
assisting others.
The young lady learns that
handsome young man is living with someone!
That’s a quick sentence to this story, isn’t it? Well, it was a quick sentence in real life as
well. Young lady learns that handsome
young man has been living with someone for the past twelve years or so. It is explained to her (not by handsome
young man) that the relationship is “not that kind of relationship.” Living with someone is living with
someone. Young lady realizes that if it
is “not that kind of relationship” that there would be no reason for handsome
young man to hide this information.
Young lady remembers all the times she tried to give him an opportunity
to just tell her what was doing on with him.
It was always the grandchildren and his children. Young lady realizes that when handsome young
man decided to move in with lady, it was during the same times that he was
talking with young lady, stopping by young lady’s home, and young lady was more
than available for a relationship.
Lies through omission are lies
all the same. Young lady was made into the “other woman” under no knowledge of
this herself, and young lady knows that she would have never been in that role,
if the choice had been hers. Handsome young
man had again made another choice, that forced young lady to make a
decision. History does repeat itself, it
so repeats itself.
Handsome young man never said a
word to young lady, tried to explain anything, or acknowledged why? Why the charade? Why the lies through omission? Why did he feel the need to go down this road? Why in their 60’s, this was a necessary
path? He continued to send texts of “good
morning”, “happy birthday”, “Merry Christmas”, and young lady never
responded. The hardest thing in her life
was to delete those texts with no reply.
Friends have told her that sometimes it is clear why you said goodbye in
the first place. Is it ever really
clear?
So for the first time since age
seventeen, handsome young man and young lady are no longer parts of each other’s
lives. It is all so strange to know
that someone that has been a kindred spirit, a love of your life, a friend, and
someone that knew you as well as you knew yourself will never be a part of your
life again. It was always known before,
that at some point, some time, there would be communication. That familiarity that just existed. That’s gone … it’s gone. And, so is a part of young lady's heart.
All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
Psalm 139
All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
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