Negatives Turned Into Positives

I have become quite adept at being able to ignore negative comments that get slung in my direction.  I would wager that all of us have been exposed to this kind of emotional and verbal bullying at some point in our lives. You know. The comments that are designed to state a negative, designed to tell us something that we do is not right, not important, designed to hurt our feelings?  Instead of being able to actually speak with us regarding a topic, some folks use backhanded comments to say hurtful things. Furthermore, sometimes words are not even needed.  Have you ever been laughed at, supposedly slyly, amongst others in the room?  Haven't you had someone just totally ignore your presence, make no comment about something you've made, or even acknowledge something you have accomplished?

I remember once sharing the excitement and news of a promotion. The response I received was, "Well don't be too excited.  Most of the time they're only looking for someone to dump on."  Did I remember?  Of course, I did. This particular comment was 21 years ago. I still remember the exact intersection where we were sitting, where we were going, and who was in the car.  I still remember it word for word.  Other times I have shared what is going on in my life, and I have tried to engage conversation regarding an upcoming fun event. The response ... total silence!  I've often wanted to say, "Oh my goodness, have you gone mute?"

I could cite so many of these happenings. However what purpose would it serve?  Often, once I leave the environment, I am absolutely worn out by trying to diffuse the comments that come at me like a laser gun. Zing, gotcha again!!  But since this has happened to me repeatedly over the years, I have come to realize, and sincerely believe, that the goal is to be hurtful.  So, I have decided and chosen not to allow that satisfaction.  I refuse to let someone else steal my joy.

I have learned to take the comment, repeat it back, and then add a positive remark to the end of it. I am a firm believer that most, if not all, negatives can be turned into positives.

Do I still get injured by these types of comments?  Of course, I do.  I'm a human being, and a sensitive one at that. I have shed many tears and have grieved over many hurt feelings, when all I've ever wanted is to be included in a life.  The lesson I have learned, though, is that I cannot control other folks comments ... but I can certainly control my emotional reaction to them. I think I do it fairly well, all things considered.

This is written in response to a challenge by The Red Dress Club.  Our assignment was to write about something we do well. This is my attempt .. the word attempt being the keyword here.