In Loving Remembrance ...

This is the seventh anniversary of my Mother's death.  In some ways it feels like it has been decades, and in other ways the sadness is just as raw as if it were yesterday.  At the time, everyone remarked how “brave” I was, what wonderful words I had to say, how respected I was for being able to speak at all.  Let me first state, there was no bravery. There was intense prayer that God would give me just five minutes to be able to put into words, meager words, what I needed and wanted to say about my Mother.  Just five minutes to give this woman her due!  Interestingly, and quite bizarre as well, is the fact that on Easter Sunday, the last Mass my mother and I attended together, the opening line of her eulogy came into my head during the opening song of Mass.  To this day I have no idea why that happened, but I did carry that “premonition” with me into the eulogy I delivered.  Below are my words I spoke.  I have thought of many others since that time that should have been included.  But, in these 7 years, I have learned to forgive myself for what I should or could have done, and instead be happy for what was accomplished at a time when I couldn't even think straight.  It is with love and remembrance I share the following ...

My mother’s eulogy…

First I’d like to take this opportunity on behalf of my entire family to thank all of you here today and at the funeral home last night for all your care, kindness, and prayer.  It has truly been overwhelming.  I’ve always said one of my biggest blessings is my very special friendships over the years, and this was certainly affirmed over the past 3 days. You have just been awesome.   I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Wednesday morning was a devastating day for my family, but I have to take comfort in knowing that on that Wednesday morning, there was a little red-headed Irishman, who was dancing a jig in heaven when he saw his Louisa was finally home.  I’m sure he has already convinced everyone in heaven that she can do it all.    That was his favorite line, “don’t worry about it, Louisa can take care of that.”  .

Our mother loved us all dearly and felt the need to continue to nurture well into our adult years. She didn’t hesitate to give directions on almost EVERYTHING!!  She even used to tell me when to turn the headlights on, and when to put gas in the car.   I used to tease her and ask her if she felt like I was still 10 years old, and her reply was, “once a Mother, always a Mother. I just can’t help myself.”  I’m sure I’m going to miss all those directions, so if you see me pulled off the side of the road, out of gas, and with no headlights on, somebody, please rescue me!!

Mother and Daddy were very different personalities, but a perfect match.  Daddy was the ever teasing Irishman, and very proud of it.  Mother was usually the brunt of his jokes and teasing.  Daddy taught me the love of Churchill Downs and horse racing, and Mother taught us the love of the arts.  She had Patricia in piano lessons, and me in dance very early in our lives, and she never hesitated to buy tickets to different theatrical performances so we could go together.  As I stand here today I have 4 sets of tickets for upcoming performances that Mother and I were planning to attend together

Mother loved to play cards.  She and her two best friends, Billie and Fannie, get together every Saturday and Sunday to play Liverpool Rummy.  You have to ante up 65 cents per game. She would call me at the end of those games, and either very proudly say,  “I did really good tonight.  I think I came out about 40 cents on top,” or she would report,” I just couldn’t get any cards tonight”.  She loved these cards, and we made hasty trips home from Mass on Sunday nights many times, so she could make the 7:30 start time.  I know she will miss those games with you all.

She would have done ANYTHING for my dad, Patricia, myself, and the “apple of her eye” Whitney.  She would say to me at times, that she only hoped that over the years she had done the right things with all of us, and I have told her many times that whenever a Mother wants to question how she raised her children, she only needs to look as far as seeing how her children raise their children.  Patricia, you and Whitney are perfect examples of that, she was always so proud of you and Whitney.  She used to say all the time, “Patricia is an excellent Mother.”

I hope if the Lord has plans for me to grow older, he allows me to grow older like our Mother did.  She did things her way, even up to her death.  She used to say all the time, “I hope I just get sick and die.  I just don’t want to lie around someplace being sick”.  We can take comfort in that part. She did things very stubbornly many times, but always with a good heart .

I try to live by the motto, “Make God Smile Everyday.”  That’s actually my screen saver on my computer at work.  Now I’m going to add to that, “Make Mother Smile Everyday.” We love you dearly, and you are missed greatly already!   God bless you and keep you!!  We will all be together again, because our God is kind and good.

That was spoken, now 7 years ago, on a very sad day for our family.  I miss my Mother and Father dearly, but I do believe that our God is kind and good.  We will all be together again.  That's His promise to His faithful.