What I Lack? 0.00004571634269 Nautical Leagues

I'm 57 inches tall.  I always thought that was 4'9", didn't you?  But, when I went to the conversion chart, the calculation from inches to feet was stated as 4.75 feet.  I've just lost another .15 inches.  That hardly seems fair. Some of the other conversions were:

57 inches  ... 144.78 centimeters
57 inches  ... 1447.8 millimeters
57 inches  ... 1.4478 meters
57 inches  ... 1.58333 yards
57 inches  ... 0.0014478 kilometers
57 inches  ... 0.00026058315335 nautical leagues.  WHEW! I'm exhausted and just can't go on with these conversions.

But I can tell you about the perils of a grown, single, adult who is 0.00026058315335 nautical leagues tall.  For starters, any items in the kitchen, frequently used, are kept in the first tier of cabinets.  So the kitchen is already at a disadvantage, because these lower shelves are crammed past capacity.  There are things in my top cabinets that I haven't seen in years.  I'm hoping, as I reflect upon this now, that at some point I haven't put money up there for some reason.  I could be rich! Who would know?  I would need to go retrieve the extension ladder to crawl up there and look.

I can tell you that a back scratcher works really well, when you are standing on a four foot step ladder, to wind Christmas lights around the top of the tree. Now the angel on the top is a different story.  The back scratcher won't work for her, so that is when you get the neighbor, the mailman, the landscaper, the cable guy, or whoever you can nab, look pitiful and say, "Can you please put my angel on my tree?" Hey, it's part of the Christmas festivities each year at my house.  I never know who may become a part of my Christmas tradition.  I have photos of folks in my Christmas album who I identify as, "Oh, that's who put the angel on my tree."  Gee, if I had only learned all their names, I would have quite a list of Christmas card recipients by now.

I can tell you that I absolutely love it when I am scaling the racks in the grocery store for my salad dressing, which I might add, is always at the top.  A glass bottle to boot!  When I need aerobic exercise, I don't pay for a gym.  I go to the grocery.  I have become quite adept at placing my feet securely on the bottom shelf, strategically positioning my hands midway up the shelving, and then determining which hand I'm going to release to grab the item from the top shelf, then return safely to the floor, and place the item in the basket.  I have been known to thrust my arms in the air, upon completion, just as a marathoner does when he crosses the finish line.  I just adore it when I have finally reached the top of the shelves and someone walks by and says, "Can I get something for you?"  My reply, "Naw! I'm just stretching and limbering up for the frozen food section."  The degree of difficulty is much higher over there, and you get extra points. You have to master the same scaling expertise, but hold the door open by thrusting your hip to the side, all the time while your hands are turning blue and going numb from the Arctic touch of the freezer. 

It's not just about the reaching part either.  It is really exciting, and I'm sure entertaining for others, when I take my car into the car wash. Oh my goodness, the guys just dry, and buff, and polish the car, place the baby powder air freshener in the car, and then smiling proudly hold my door open for me.  Did I know they had moved my seat back for the 6'8" employee?  Nope ... I get in, sit down, reach for my pedals, and slide right down to the floor board.  "Oh, mam, are you all right?"  "Yes, yes I'm fine.  I'm just reaching for my earring that fell on the floor!"

Yes, there are many obstacles for a person who is 0.00026058315335 nautical leagues tall.  I just make sure I can always reach the margarita mix!