My sister and I share a birthday month. Actually our father also shared the same month. Daddy’s birthday, February 2, mine February 9, and my sister, the Valentine baby, February 14. Daddy used to say I was his birthday present a week late, and my sister was his little Valentine.
Mother and Daddy have since left us, and for many years my sister lived out-of-town, so for quite a long time, we were only able to celebrate via cards and phone calls. My sister has now returned to the area, so for the past three years, we have celebrated together with dinner. Since her special day is on Valentine’s Day, we never celebrate that night. The restaurants are filled to capacity, and overflowing, with all the lovers, or at least those trying to be lovers, fulfilling the obligation of February 14. So to this end, we usually choose a date between our birthdays for our dinner outing.
This year, we chose Sunday, February 12. We went to a restaurant I had never been to before, Bonefish Grill. My sister and brother-in-law had been there several times and vouched for its quality. And, we even had a coupon for a free appetizer sent through the Internet to my sister for her birthday. We ordered our appetizer, some wine, and picked out our entrees. Normal evening thus far.
I guess you know you are aging when the conversation turns to dental issues and upcoming procedures. I had conveyed the story that I had a fracture in my back, bottom tooth, on the right. “Rah thar.” Oh, I have my mouth open, finger in it, pointing to the tooth. You’re reading this and can’t see me. Number 31 in dental lingo! My sister said she had a fracture in the same tooth, but she was not ready to undergo the expense of a crown. I told her that not only was I going to need the crown, but probably a root canal to boot.
Our appetizer arrived to the table, and I placed my napkin in my lap. I had on slacks that were made from that slippery fabric. I’m sure a Project Runway contestant could quickly name the fabric. Not me! All I know was it was slick, and my napkin immediately slid to the floor, under the booth. The napkin was black, it was dark under the booth, and I couldn’t see it. I would have had to lay down completely flat, risk rolling off the bench under the table, to retrieve the napkin. My sister said, “Just ask for another.” This turned out later to be good advice, but my brother-in-law said he could see it and was able to pick it up for me. I informed everyone that I would just tuck it in my waist band to prevent the chance of the “napkin slide” again.
About that time, our dinner arrived. We had all ordered fish, and we had actually discussed the type of fish and the likelihood of encountering a bone. I know if I get a bone, I’m done. I ordered Imperial King Wolf fish, my brother-in-law the trout, and my sister salmon. My sister took one bite of her rice and pulled something out of her mouth. I thought to myself, “Good grief, she has already gotten a bone.” Then I noticed it was a little round hard thing that looked like a caper. She laid it to the side of her plate and continued to eat. In just a moment, she said, “Well, I have broken my tooth.” On rice??!!?? Something tells me she may have waited just a bit too long on that crown. Who breaks their tooth on a piece of rice?
We finished our entrees, my sister left her piece of tooth tucked under a little leftover rice and sauce, and we ordered and ate a decadent flourless brownie with raspberry sauce, whipped cream, and ice cream. We shared our presents, paid our bills, and left the restaurant. We hugged in the parking lot, went to our respective cars, and drove home.
After arriving at home, I took my coat off. My coat was a bright red, top of the hip jacket. I had black slacks on. As I bent down to greet my little dog, my hand became entangled in fabric. “What the heck?” Then I realized what I had done. I had worn the napkin home! It hadn’t slid anymore. It had even stayed put with me walking out of the restaurant, driving home, walking into the house, and picking up my dog. I literally had to yank it out of my waist band. I guess I can only be happy the napkin police didn’t drop me in the parking lot. The kicker is I now only have one black napkin. I wish my sister would have wrapped up her tooth in another napkin. I would at least have a pair, and she just might have gotten a surprise from the tooth fairy.
Appetizer – free
Wine -- $6.00
Dinner -- $35.00
Evening with two old birds (make that groovy chicks) – PRICELESS!!
How funny! Maybe you'll set a new fashion trends - wearing napkins!
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