Lent

I love Lent!  Every year I am excited about entering into the portion of the liturgical year that encourages me to pray, reconnect in my faith, look towards the needs of others, and just feel closer to God.  I usually take a moment a few days before Lent to ponder what my Lenten activities will consist of.  I'm not one to just think it is about "giving up" things, but rather just importantly about "doing things."  I fervently believe in the scripture reading that tells us that we shouldn't boast about our Lenten penance, our fasting, or even share our Lenten activities with others.  So, to this end, I will not go into detail.  I will say that it involves setting more time daily for prayer, and doing some things that I know I should do, but don't take time out of the day to accomplish. 

I usually attend all the different services during Lent, of course, beginning with Ash Wednesday. This year, my schedule has changed drastically with a career move I made about 8 months ago.  I've just been out of sync with getting all my schedules aligned appropriately.  Ash Wednesday fell prey to this dilemma.  I couldn't attend a noon service, I was in a meeting.  I couldn't (no let's be honest) I chose not to go to the 5:30 p.m. service, because I would have had to cancel a 6:30 p.m. appointment.  So, I searched the web, and I found a church that was having service at 7:00 p.m., just down the street from my 6:30 p.m. appointment. Perfect!  Except I forgot that there would be a lot of folks choosing this time frame. I arrived about 7:05 p.m. and there was nowhere, I mean nowhere to park.  I drove in circles around the perimeter of the church and adjoining property. There was nowhere to park.  Even the sidewalks were already full.   I was tired, frustrated, and I decided I would just skip the service and pray in private.  I decided to place an order for a fish dinner at a local fish restaurant, and just go on home.  On my way to pick up the fish dinner, I passed another church, in a neighboring town, that must have been having 7:30 p.m. services. There were droves of people going in the front doors ... and parking spaces!  But, now I had already ordered dinner and it was awaiting my pick-up in just 5 minutes.  Again, I chose to just pick up dinner and go home.   I actually felt jealous of the people entering church.  This decision has haunted me.  Ash Wednesday.  One of the most solemn days in our church calendar, and I didn't make room on my calendar.

I have a St. Mother Theodore Guerin perpetual calendar on my desk at work. A few days after Ash Wednesday, her quote of the day stated that one shouldn't dwell over the sin they have committed. Rather acknowledge it, own it, talk to our God, but then move on with confidence and strength.   Otherwise, it is just too easy to commit the same mistake.  This has been hard for me, as I feel so negligent about my actions of Ash Wednesday.  But, I know God teaches me something about everything I do in my life, and He loves me unconditionally.  He has forgiven me, so I need to as well.

During this most holy of seasons, I'll offer my prayers earnestly and honestly with all the warts and weeds of my life.  I know God hears me, and this gives me the confidence to go forward in His strength.  These next few weeks lead to the joy of His ressurection.  I am so blessed to be a participant.